Here are some tips to get you started on planning a night of hardcore romance.
Surprise Her
A romantic evening doesn't have to begin at sunset. Surprise your special someone with a gift during the day. And if she works, even better; that way she can flaunt you to all her jealous co-workers. Not only does an early surprise leave her feeling lovey-dovey, but it also builds anticipation to see you later on.
What should you send? Clichs aside, flowers are an ideal choice because they're easy to order and deliver, and most women appreciate a nice floral arrangement. But be sure to put some thought into the bouquet you choose. Try to find out what her favorite flowers are from a friend ahead of time.
If she's got a sweet tooth, chocolates or candy are another option (Godiva works better than Hershey).
If you're feeling really motivated, get her something that she mentioned in passing, like that little antique necklace she noticed in the thrift shop window, or a bottle of her favorite perfume that she just finished. Keep your ears open and the ideas will flow.
And the card? Keep it short and sweet with a hint of what's to come. Something simple like, "Just thinking of you, can't wait to see you tonight..."
Create a Romantic Setting at Home
The next phase of Operation Romance will be in the house, and you'll want to put some time aside to create an ambience that exudes romance. This involves selecting the perfect music, menu and lighting. If you're married or live with your woman, it may take some work to plan this out. Just pick a day when you know she has a lot of errands to run.
What about a hotel? It's always an option, but keep in mind that it diminishes the element of surprise. And unless you decide to go with the Budget Inn (not a recommended choice), a hotel reservation can also put an extra dent in your wallet. You can save this option for a special occasion, like an anniversary.
Ditch the Barry White and make your own music...
Personalize the Music Selection
What better way to create a romantic mood than with some carefully selected background music? It may be tempting to pull out Al Green's Greatest Hits or Enigma's last album (depending on what gets her hot), but a better option than either of these is a custom-made CD. So break out the burner on your PC, and pick a variety of songs that you know she'll be into. She'll appreciate the extra thought and effort.
Prepare the Meal Yourself
The most important rule about a romantic dinner can be summed up in three words — cook, cook and cook. The Pierce Brosnans and Richard Geres of the movies make it look like an expensive restaurant is all you need for a romantic dinner, but this couldn't be further from the truth.
Sure, many women would love a meal at an uber-chic bistro. But when a woman wants to be romanced, she'll almost always prefer a fine dish cooked by her beau to one cooked by a stranger in a puffy, white hat. It's just more intimate and personal.
Whether you're a chef or a culinary klutz, at least give cooking the meal a shot (mac 'n' cheese doesn't count). Mango Chicken and Penne à la Vodka are some examples of romantic dishes that are easy to prepare, and various websites offer a plethora of simple recipes. So get your hands dirty, and if the oven bursts into flames, you have permission to eat out.
Listen Up
How many times do you make a conscious effort to listen attentively to what your woman's saying? If you're like most men, that number is probably low. Most women love a good listener, so when you're trying to be romantic, make sure you're attentive to what she says. Nodding like a zombie while she rambles on won't cut it. You have to engage in the conversation by asking her questions and encouraging her to share her thoughts.
And that doesn't mean you have to keep quiet — romantic talk should by no means be a one-way street. Just be conscious that you're paying close attention and not dominating the conversation.
Here are some examples of conversation ideas that will keep the mood romantic and sensual:
Ask her what She's Thinking About
Yep, just like that. It's simple, to the point and will steer the conversation in a deep direction.
Be Nostalgic
Reminisce about the first time you met or your first kiss.
Talk About Your Turn-ons
Is there something she did or said recently that really got you in the mood? Is there something you recently did that got her hot and bothered?
Now that she's raring to go, move into the bedroom...
Light Her Fire
Next comes the bedroom, and with the bedroom, comes lighting. Candles — lots of candles — are an obvious choice, and with good reason. Nothing turns sex into lovemaking more than an open flame, and for those of you who don't have a fireplace, candles are the next best thing. So ditch the electricity and break out the wicks.
But don't pick just any scented piece of wax that looks cool in the store. Does she have a favorite color? A favorite scent? If not, ask the salesperson for suggestions of scents that serve as aphrodisiacs, like vanilla or patchouli. Many bathware and candle shops have aromatherapy experts on hand who are ready and willing to help. (Believe it or not, cucumber and nutmeg, of all things, are popular choices.)
Be Inventive in the Bedroom
What happens once you get into bed is entirely up to you. But one way to make sex more romantic is by enhancing the setting in ways that you've never tried before. Rose petals on pillows, sensual massage oils, satin sheets... the possibilities are endless.
It can also help to try new acts of intimacy, like new positions or variations on foreplay. As long as it's something you know she's always wanted to try, she will be more than grateful. Or, if you prefer, do something sexual with her that you've done before only on rare occasions, and that you know she's really into.
Make it Last
The romance you've sparked in your specially planned evening doesn't have to end when you say good night. The most romantic thing you can do for your lover the morning after is to make those feelings last for as long as possible. Surprise her more often, listen more carefully and keep a ready supply of candles on hand.
The motivation to keep the romance going will come naturally — especially after you see how eager she is to show her gratitude.
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