Saturday, December 20, 2014

Creating a Christmas of Love

Christmas is a time of joy, love, fun and connection with family and friends. Yet for many people Christmas is highly stressful and emotional.
There are many reasons why people don’t look forward to Christmas and in some cases dread it, but the main one seems to be stress and anxiety. So much to do, so little time and energy.
Christmas does not need to be overwhelming or a burden; a chore to be crossed off your list. In fact it can be a time where you truly connect not only with others but also with yourself and in the process rediscover what Christmas truly means to you.
Follow these 7 simple steps to a calm and happy Christmas and avoid being on Santa’s naughty list (again) this year.
1.Take time to work out what you value about Christmas and how you want to feel.
Before any preparations are made, lay the foundation by sitting quietly and contemplating what key values and emotions you want to experience throughout the Christmas season. Have a pad and pen handy to record a few your thoughts. For example, you may value laughter, ease and time to connect and want to feel light, relaxed and excited. Write these down and keep them handy as all your preparations and actions will be based on these.
 2.Brain Dump everything out of your head and onto paper. 
Let’s face it, there are quite a lot of things to do at this time of year so getting them clear is important. Leaving ideas and thoughts whirling around in your head only serves to overwhelm and drain you.Write everything you need and want to do onto paper and keep going until your head feels clear. When you do this you feel more in control and less chaotic.
3. Be realistic about what you can do. 
We all want Christmas to be ‘perfect’ and truly memorable, especially if we have children. However, the striving for perfection is one of the main reasons people feel overwhelmed and burned out by the time the celebrations come. So be realistic about what can be done. Some things to consider here are the time you have available, your budget and your own expectations. Look at your list (from point number 2) using these considerations and cross off anything you know is really out of the ball park or unrealistic. Also, look back at your values and feelings list…do the things you have chosen to keep support these or take away from them.  If they support then keep them, if not then cross them off.
4. Prioritise your list. 
Now that you have looked at what is realistic for you on your list it is time to put the items into priority order. One of the best ways I have found to do this is to use a simple method by Stephen Covey call the Quadrant. I adapted the system somewhat to suit my mindset and style. Here is a picture of it as an example.  Of course adapt it to suit your own needs.

Look at each item remaining on your list and start writing them into the appropriate sections. Now focus on the top two sections only, particularly the Important and Needs to be done daily or regularly section. Quadrant one shows you the things that need to be done as priority which is helpful but quadrant two shows you the things which refuel you and keep your energy sustained helping you to grow and move forward.This is essential. As to the other two boxes reduce, delegate or eliminate them altogether. 
5. Schedule your priorities. 
Take the items from quadrants one and two and put them in your diary, smart phone or calendar. Actually putting pen to paper and carving out time will lead to far greater success in achieving them. This is the action part where you are deliberating making time and space to get these things done. This is a vital part of the process and will allow you to move forward with sustained energy and control rather than procrastinating and panicking in a ball of overwhelm. An important note here: schedule in daily (yes, I said daily) self care to keep your mental, physical and spiritual well being flowing. 
6. Your self care is crucial. 
At this time of year things begin to ramp up considerably. As such, it only makes sense that your self care does also. Think of it like an insurance policy of sorts. Daily self care, even for 10 minutes will help to keep you balanced, focused and feeling good amidst the busyness. Some examples of self care are meditation, savouring a cup of your favourite hot beverage, yoga, gardening, curling up with a book and exercise. Do not skip this step thinking you don’t have time. (Besides, you wrote it down in step 5 as a priority didn’t you?).
 7. Allow yourself to ‘Be Present’. 
The pun about ‘present’ is definitely intended. It seems that Christmas is more and more about the presents we buy and receive or the ultra fancy holidays we go on. Don’t get me wrong I love presents and holidays but what I truly value is the love and connection with others. When I look at past Christmases, I don’t think about the gifts I got but rather the laughter, closeness and activities I shared with those I care about. The greatest gift you can give to yourself and to those you love is Your Presence. To really be with those you love, listening, sharing joy and being together.
By following these simple steps you will be in a much better mindset and energy to create a Christmas that you and your family and friends will love and remember. 
Please feel free to share this post with a friend to help them in the run up to Christmas and as always leave a comment on the blog so I can connect with you.

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