Are Obstacles Holding You Back?

Obstacles are those frightful things you see when you take your eyes off your goal - Henry Ford

What are the obstacles your face in your life?

Are you in the Relationship you really want?

Do you live the life of your dreams?

Are you tired of waiting ... for love to come along?

Is it time to take action?

Manifest Your Man with Maggie Michaels! Make change for you!!

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Self Worth (Very Deep)

 

How do you value yourself in a Relationship?

I was sent this very deep story this Week, it really discusses Self Worth beautifully.  Personally, this story would be lovely if it was written from a man's perspective as well, because both partners deserve the VERY BEST!

SELF WORTH (Very Deep!!!)

 In a brief conversation, a man asked a woman he was pursuing the question: 'What kind of man are you looking for?' 

She sat quietly for a moment before looking him in the eye & asking, 'Do you really want to know?' 

Reluctantly, he said, 'Yes. 

She began to expound, 'As a woman in this day & age, I am in a position to ask a man what can you do for me that I can't do for myself? I pay my own bills. I take care of my household without the help of any man... or woman for that matter. 
I am in the position to ask, 'What can you bring to the table?' 

The man looked at her. Clearly he thought that she was referring to money. 

She quickly corrected his thought & stated, 'I am not referring to money... I need something more... I need a man who is striving for excellence in every aspect of life. 

He sat back in his chair, folded his arms, & asked her to explain. 

She said, 'I need someone who is striving for excellence mentally because I need conversation & mental stimulation. I don't need a simple-minded man. I need someone who is striving for excellence spiritually because I don't need to be unequally yoked...believers mixed with unbelievers is a recipe for disaster. I need a man who is striving for excellence financially because I don't need a financial burden. I need someone who is sensitive enough to understand what I go through as a woman, but strong enough to keep me grounded. I need someone who has integrity in dealing with relationships. Lies and game-playing are not my idea of a strong man. I need a man who is family-oriented. One who can be the leader, priest and provider to the lives entrusted to him by God. I need someone whom I can respect. In order to be submissive, I must respect him. I cannot be submissive to a man who isn't taking care of his business. I have no problem being submissive...he just has to be worthy. And by the way, I am not looking for him...He will find me. He will recognize himself in me. Hey may not be able to explain the connection, but he will always be drawn to me. God made woman to be a help-mate for man. I can't help a man if he can't help himself. 

When she finished her spill, she looked at him. 

He sat there with a puzzled look on his face. He said, 'You are asking a lot. 

She replied, "I'm worth a lot".

 

3 Ways to Be Irresistibly Attractive to Men

Women are afraid of being women…
 
That’s right; women are actually scared of being women.
 
How many times have you seen or heard of women who are uncomfortable…
just BEING THEMSELVES?
 
It’s almost as if they don’t have their own permission to be themselves…
Perhaps you know someone, intimately, who has done this?! (ie. YOU?)
 
Well, really it isn’t your fault. Sometimes, by being an authentic woman, you can really get yourself into dangerous situations if you were to bring attention onto yourself. You see, men have preyed on women for as long as we’ve been around on this Earth. (Not all men, thank god!) So it’s totally justified to not be comfortable being a woman.
 
But here’s the problem…if you’re not comfortable being a woman, (and men are attracted to women), then how are you going to be able to attract men? How will you be seen as attractive to men? How will men find you desirable?
 
So it’s time for you to get in touch with your true feminine side again and understand that you ARE a beautiful woman.

To continue reading to find out more .... Claim your Free Report Here!

Get Out of the Grey Area - The Ultimate Advice

Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?

There’s a grey area in dating many people get hung up on — a grey area where feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger feelings than the other. This grey area causes real, tangible issues. As a man, a huge question is often whether to be persistent and continue pursuing a woman even when she seems lukewarm or hot/cold on your advances. For women, a common question is what to do with men who make their feelings ambiguous.

“She said she’s not interested, but she still flirts with me, so what do I need to do to get her?”
“Well, I know she likes me, but she didn’t call me back last weekend, what should I do?”
“He treats me well when he’s around, but he’s hardly around. What does that mean?”

Most dating advice exists to “solve” this grey area for people. Say this line. Text her this. Call him this many times. Wear that.

Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving.

Frustration with this grey area also drives many people to unnecessary manipulation, drama and game-playing. This is where you get rules about making men pay for this many dates before you can become intimate. Or how men need to transition from attraction phase to comfort phase by qualifying three times before they’re allowed to commence an escalation ladder.

These things may seem clever and exciting to some people who are stuck or frustrated. But this dating advice misses the point. If you’re in the grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost.
Let me ask again: Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later? Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?

What does that say about you? That you believe you need to convince people to be with you?

You wouldn’t buy a dog that bites you all the time. And you wouldn’t be friends with someone who regularly ditches you. You wouldn’t work a job that doesn’t pay you. Then why the hell are you trying to make a girlfriend out of a woman who doesn’t want to date you? Where’s your self-respect?

The entrepreneur Derek Sivers once wrote a blog post where he said, “If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no.” It served him well in the business world and now I’d like to apply it to the dating world. And because I’m more of a vulgar asshole than Derek is, I’ll christen mine The Law of “Fuck Yes or No.”

The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.

The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.

As you can see, The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” implies that both parties must be enthusiastic about the prospect of one another’s company. Why? Because attractive, non-needy, high self-worth people don’t have time for people who they are not excited to be with and who are not excited to be with them.

This may sound a bit idealistic to some. But The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” has many tangible benefits on your dating life:

1. No longer be strung along by people who aren’t that into you. End all of the headaches. End the wishing and hoping. End the disappoint and anger that inevitably follows. Start practicing self-respect. Become the rejector, not the rejected.
 
2. No longer pursue people you are so-so on for ego purposes. We’ve all been there. We were so-so about somebody, but we went along with it because nothing better was around. And we all have a few we’d like to take back. No more.
 
3. Consent issues are instantly resolved. If someone is playing games with you, playing hard to get, or pressuring you into doing something you’re unsure about, your answer is now easy. Or as I often like to say in regards to dating, “If you have to ask, then that’s your answer.”
4. Establish strong personal boundaries and enforce them. Maintaining strong boundaries not only makes one more confident and attractive, but also helps to preserve one’s sanity in the long-run.
 
5. Always know where you stand with the other person. Since you’re now freeing up so much time and energy from people you’re not that into, and people who are not that into you, you now find yourself perpetually in interactions where people’s intentions are clear and enthusiastic. Sweet!
 

The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” is applicable to dating, sex, relationships, even friendships. You may have absolutely nothing in common with that bartender. But they’re hot and are interested in getting down. Is it a “Fuck Yes!” for sex? It is? Then game on.

Wrapped up in that sweet guy who treats you so well, except goes weeks without calling you and suddenly disappears after a couple drinks and a round of the horizontal polka? Been wondering if he really likes you? Do his excuses of being so busy all the time seem legit? It doesn’t sound like the answer is a “Fuck yes.” Then it’s time to move on.

Making out with a girl at your house and every time you go to take her shirt off she swats your hands away? That is not a “Fuck Yes,” my friend, therefore, it’s a no and you shouldn’t pressure her. The best sex is “Fuck Yes” sex — i.e., both people are shouting “Fuck Yes” as they hop between the sheets together. If she’s not hopping, then there’s no fucking.

(Hint Fellas: This is a great time to ask the girl why she’s not comfortable, and what she’s looking for from you. That, by itself — you know, treating her like a human and empathizing with her — often solves this “problem.”)

Want to date that woman you met last weekend but she keeps ignoring your texts and calls? Not sure what to say or do, especially since she seemed so happy to go out with you when you initially met her? Well, my friend, this is obviously not a “Fuck Yes.” Therefore, it is a “No.” Delete her number and move on.

Fuck Yes or No applies to relationships as well. My girlfriend works with a guy who got married because “it seemed like the right thing to do.” Four years later, he was cheating on his wife every chance he got. The marriage was not a Fuck Yes for him, therefore it should have been a No.

Sometimes The Law of Fuck Yes or No will apply differently on different levels. You may be a “Fuck Yes” for friendship with someone, but mildly excited to have sex with them. Therefore, it’s a no. You may be a “Fuck Yes” on banging someone’s brains out, but a definite “No” on actually spending any time with them. Apply the law to your decision-making as it suits your current needs.

Fuck Yes or No doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be falling in knee-wobbling love at first sight. It doesn’t even mean you have be completely convinced that someone is right for you. You can be “Fuck Yes” about getting to know someone better. You can be “Fuck Yes” about seeing someone again because you think there’s something there. You can be “Fuck Yes” about giving things a few months to pan out and see if you can fix the problems in the relationship.

The point is: both you and the other person need to be fuck yes about something, otherwise you’re just wasting your time.

But the real beauty of The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” is that it simplifies the problems you can have in your dating life. When applying the Law of “Fuck Yes or No,” there are really only two problems one can have.

The first problem is people who never feel a “Fuck Yes” for anybody they meet. If you are lukewarm on absolutely everyone you meet, then either your demographics are way off, or you suffer from a lack of vulnerability and are protecting yourself by remaining indifferent and unenthused by all of those around you.

Remember, it’s your job to look for something cool in everyone you meet; it’s not their job to show you. This is life, not a fucking sales convention. Learning to appreciate people you meet is a skill you cultivate. So get on it. This doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with everyone who breathes in your direction. It just means you need to take responsibility for your ability to connect with the people you are meeting.

The second problem is people who never meet others who feel a “Fuck Yes” for them. If all of the people you pursue give you a mild responses, or outright rejections, then it’s time to focus on improving yourself. Ask yourself, what is it about yourself that would inspire others to say “Fuck Yes” about you? If the answer is not obvious, then you get to work. Build yourself into a person others would say “Fuck Yes” to.

And this is the ultimate dating advice lesson — man, woman, gay, straight, trans, furry, whatever — the only real dating advice is self improvement. Everything else is a distraction, a futile battle in the grey area, a prolonged ego trip. Because, yes, with the right tools and performance, you may be able to con somebody into sleeping with you, dating you, even marrying you. But you will have won the battle by sacrificing the war, the war of long-term happiness.

Source: fuck-yes 
Author: Mark Manson - He is an author, blogger and entrepreneur. He writes about unconventional life advice, think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. Find happiness through struggle. 

5 Ways To Have Amazing Relationships Whilst Chasing Your Dreams

It would be great to be motivated, achieve lots of business success and become financially free but what if you had nobody to share it with? 

Truly caring and understanding your loved ones on a daily basis is an invaluable skill. As you become more successful you will appreciate the time and effort you put in to your relationships.

Relationships are like any other aspect in life; if it is not going forwards the chances are it is going backwards. It is imperative that you become aware of the relationships in your life that you are neglecting.

Here are 5 Creative ways that you can have amazing relationships whilst you are chasing your dreams.

Relationship Advice For Goal Orientated and Self-motivated Men and Women

1. Don’t just hear…..Listen!

Your ears are never closed, so you will always be able to hear what is being said but listening and paying attention with the goal of understanding what the other person is saying is a totally different skill. Actually listening involves maintaining eye contact, watching their body to see if they are becoming more uptight or more relaxed as they deliver their message.

Listening involves repeating information back to the person to make sure you have ‘got the message’. When you are listening properly you will not get immediately defensive if it is something that you interpret as a potential ‘criticism’.

2. They Can’t Argue On Their Own

The dictionary definition of an argument is ‘an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one’. 

The key word for me here is exchange. The word exchange means that two people have to be involved. If you remove yourself from the exchange of opposite views then it can’t be an argument anymore. 

It doesn’t matter whether it’s your spouse or a work colleague; you can take control and turn the argument into a discussion where you can see the situation through their eyes and turn the argument into a discussion with an actual resolution at the end of it, rather than two angry people going nowhere.

3. Breathe, Think, Pause….. And Respond

I know that the above approach sounds great in theory but what action can you take to make it a reality. 

Whenever I can feel myself on the verge of what could potentially be an argument with someone I love or a peer I think to myself “come on; B.P.T.R”. B.P.T.R stands for Breathe, Pause, Think, and Respond. 

If you were totally honest with yourself; if you utilized this technique in the last ‘argument’ you had it wouldn’t have happened. Most arguments escalate to the next level because you react and say something that ten minutes later you wish that you hadn’t said. 

True or true? 

Do this yourself and you’ll notice huge improvements with all of your interactions with other people and most importantly, those you love.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where someone in your life says something that could create ‘that feeling’ where you just want to ‘bite back’…BREATHE – take the oxygen in that will allow you think clearly. PAUSE – allow your conscious mind to take control. THINK – let the most useful resourceful, ‘solution-focused’ response come to you and only then should you RESPOND.

4. Daily Love

When it comes to our intimate relationships, we often forget the ‘little things’ that make a big difference. There are genuinely so many things that you can do EVERY DAY that have little or zero financial cost that really can make your partner feel that extra bit more loved. Introduce daily passion into the mix as well and long-term success is inevitable.

Personally, I like to write what I call a ‘little love note’ every single day, with a message of love, appreciation and gratitude. 

It is also crucial to make sure you make a ‘big deal’ out of the first time that you see your partner at the end of the day. Take your head out of the TV, your phone or your computer and jump up and give them a big passionate kiss. This may sound like an amazingly simple idea and I truly believe that it will make all of the difference for you.

5. You Need Relationship Goals

You have a goal for your body, you have a goal for your finances, you seem to have goal for every area of your life apart from what could arguably be the most important.  

Think about it; for something to make progress and improve it has to be moving towards a worthy goal.

In a relationship it is very easy to get ‘comfortable’, however, this is dangerous state to be in and what was once a beautiful relationship can begin to slide backwards. 

As with any part of our lives the easiest way to combat this is to set a goal. You could set a goal to take your partner on a weekend away or to buy them flowers once a month or take them for a meal once a week. 

What you do isn’t as important as committing to actually doing something.


Source: success-advice/5-ways-to-have-amazing-relationships-whilst-chasing-your-dreams/

The Singles Countdown to Valentine's Day

You try to ignore it but its impossible to escape from The Valentine's Day promotions. 

The gift shops are full of heart shaped cards and teddy bears, the travel agents have romantic weekend trips to Paris advertised, your attached friends topic of conversation is "Will he propose?", and all you can think is 'where are you going to magically find a man in time for Valentines Day'. 

Yes, its the season of romance; the time of year all singletons fear more than walking into a bar with their skirt accidentally tucked into their pants following a visit to the toilet!

If you can identify with these thoughts, don't despair. Whilst it may be difficult for you to get a marriage proposal in such a short space of time, you may be able to get a date in time for Valentines Day. 

Here's a few places for you to try and if you've tried them before try them again; men will be on the lookout at this time of year too so don't be afraid to make yourself available:-

1. Take a good look around at work. OK, so you've worked there for years and none of the single guys have appealed to you before but in desperate times its good to take a second look. Is the guy in accounts really so dull? Maybe he is ultra cool out of work and will have you giggling all night if you give him a chance.

2. Work off those extra pounds piled on at Christmas at the gym and eye up those hunky bodies. Start by taking in the view on the treadmill and then once you've spotted someone you like, ease your way over and ask if he would mind showing you how to use one of the exercise machines in exchange for an after-gym beverage.

3. If you don't have a dog, borrow a friends dog and take it for a long walk. You'll be amazed at the amount of guys walking their dogs who will say hello to a fellow dog walker.

4. Ask your attached friends to help by finding out if any their boyfriends friends have recently become single and get them to arrange a casual get-together to introduce you.

5. Last but not least, join an online dating site and message every half-decent man available. By the time Valentines Day arrives, you'll be inundated with offers and will have to donate the surplus bouquets of red roses to your local hospice because you've run out of vases!

Try one, if not all, of the above, and there's a very good chance you wont be spending Valentines Day alone!

The Worst Text Messages Sent To A Date

They Sent What??! Try To Avoid These Texting Faux Pas

A great article, to share with the 'I Love Romantic Love' Community!

We've all received them, or perhaps even unintentionally sent them. So how do you know when it's just plain weird, off, or wrong? Take a peek at these - some of the worst of the worst - and you'll hopefully remember them the next time you pick up your phone to send your date a note.

1.  Can't Take the Hint Texts
 
For whatever reason, you're smitten with Mister or Miss Right, and you want to win over their affections... yet they're refusing to reply to you. That they're at work, with their family, or out on the town with friends doesn't cross your mind. 

I'll just leave it to a reader to share his thought process when this happened to him: 

"I couldn't take a hint. She wasn't interested. BUT WHAT IF SHE WASN'T OKAY?! Oh my goodness, I have to know she's okay. So I texted her, and texted her, and texted her... until she told me if I texted her again, she'd call the cops. I stopped".

2.  Over the Top Sexual Texts
 
Maybe you think you've sent a flirty text message as opposed to one that might seem a bit, um, uncouth. 

To help, I have a marker for whether a text measures on the okay scale, or whether it should be left for another day. If the person you're sending the message to has yet to see you as naked as the day you were born, refrain from sending anything that might make your own Mom say, "Ew". 

I've had readers send me the most vulgar, offensive texts completely wrong for an all-ages audience, so let me just share one of my favorites/worst: "I look forward to the day your belly swells, ripe with my seed". Yep, sent after date numero uno.

3.  Ridiculously Judgmental Texts
 
I've learned over the decade that I've written about dating and relationships to share what I do for a living right off the bat. Then, the person can decide if it's a deal breaker for them (surprisingly, it is for a lot of people). 

Once however, I had a gent text me after I shared the news: "I know you're type. You change your shoes as much as you change you're guy". He then got even more judgmental, so I blocked him... For the grammar infractions, of course.

4.  No Texts At All
 
The flip side of the "Can't Take the Hint" no-no, the AWOL texter just disappears, oftentimes just as you're trying to make plans. 

Of course, there are times when it's really unavoidable (as discussed already), yet there's a certain subset of the population who just.. disappear. 

Shared a female reader: "We had a fantastic date, we made out a bit, he asked if he could see me later in the week. I texted him a few days later to see if we were still on. Nothing. I asked again the next day. Still nothing. I never heard from him again". 

5.  Oops! Texts
 
A lot of horrible texts can fall in this category. Call someone the wrong name, send the wrong text to the wrong person, auto correct goes wild and makes a huge, icky mess. 

A favorite/bad text I read on Reddit a few months back read: "Total waste of time, fugly and epically boring." followed by "Sorry, wrong person." 

A gal pal had a similar experience on Tindr, where she met a gent in person, he ignored her, and then "accidentally" asked her how she was doing a week or so later. As soon as she responded, he blocked her. 

So ... what do you do now?

Texting in Relationships can be fun, and definitely bring back the Romance!! 

Follow this link http://bit.ly/1ChNLAd to find out more about how you can text back the Romance into your Relationship  

You will enjoy the information that Michael Fiore shares about how YOU can shift from reading a funny article about texts to dates ... or be having more Romantic Fun!!

Source:  The-Worst-Text-Messages-to-Send-Your-Date

Find out the Science behind Dating Techniques

Find out the Science behind Dating Techniques, Click Below to watch

Hmmm ... ever wondered whether Dating Techniques work, or are they overrated ... AND how does the average, everyday guy rate.

An eye opener of a video as it shows the reactions of both the guys and the girls afterwards.

It is also a bit of fun!

Click Below to watch the Video

4 Bedtime Habits That May Be Sabotaging Your Sex Life

Finding a longtime couple who complains about too much hot sex is about as unusual as coming across an ice cube in the Sahara. 

For many, sex can grow a bit mundane after so many years with the same person. But all is not lost. You, too, can revitalize your sex life just by changing even a few of your everyday habits. Having been married for 22 years, I speak from experience. I also learned a few things by reaching out to Huff/Post50 contributor Ken Solin, who's also AARP's dating expert.

"If you're sex life is on auto-pilot that may mean you're not being fully present when you're making love with your partner. The same foreplay, position and orgasms are boring after a while," he said. "While it does require some amount of thought, it's helpful to try to make love at least a little differently each time. Change the foreplay menu. Avoid monotony by making love in new positions. The words 'boring' and 'sex' don't ever belong in the same sentence."

For additional help, here are four bedtime habits that may be killing your sex life. Have your own ideas? Let us know in comments.

1. An open bathroom door policy.

Yes, I realize the movie This is 40 showed Leslie Mann chatting with her husband Paul Rudd while he was on the toilet, but -- really -- your partner doesn't need to see you in the bathroom, or even cutting your toenails, no matter how close you two are. Leave a little mystery in the relationship and reap the rewards in the bedroom.

2. Wearing too many clothes.

I used to wear sweats all the time to bed. Bad idea! You want to have more sex? Go to bed wearing the same kind of sexy lingerie you used to wear when you were dating. Or, better yet, wear your birthday suit. And get ready to have some fun.

3. Asking your partner if he or she would like to make love.

Solin's advice? "Grab your partner, take your partner in your arms and kiss him or her deeply, without breaking away, until whether or not to have sex isn't the question ... but whether on the sofa, the bed, a chair or the floor is the question," he said.

4. Paying attention to the TV, your phone or your computer.

Don't just silence your phone. Leave it -- and your computer -- in the kitchen. You don't need them. And don't go to bed with the news on. Nothing kills the mood faster than the latest tragedy in the Middle East. A few years back, researchers released a study showing that couples who have a TV in their bedroom have sex half as often as those who don't. Sounds about right to me.

Source: http://www.huffingtonpost.com/shelley-emling/better-sex_b_3222875.html

5 Ways to Stay Connected In Our Digitally-Connected Age

• 
  We are connected to more people in more ways than ever before. But is the quality of our relationships better off? Here are five practical ways for how can we stay relationally connected in our hyper-connected, digitally-distracted age?
  The holidays have arrived .. and in an effort to disconnect from work and the pressures, many people will transferring their 'connectedness' over to social media to stay "connected".
  The sheer explosion of the digital revolution has made author Thomas Friedman Nostradamus-like when he predicted the world would become increasingly “flat."
  Not only has our world become “flat,” it has become “hyper-connected.” We cannot go anywhere without our digital devices, be it our smart phones, our computers, or other digital devices. In fact, it seems we are increasingly in a constant state of readiness to connect, do face-time, email, text or play one of a million addictive digital games. However, while the quantity_,_speed and reach of our ability to connect in the community continue to increase at a dizzying pace, the "quality" of our connection with each other is diminishing.
  It can feel at times that our technology is managing us and not the other way around.” At the risk of sounding like a Luddite, in light of this growing evidence, perhaps we need to take a deeper look at the full impact of our always-connected state.
  How can we stay relationally connected in our hyper-connected, digitally-distracted age? Here are five practical ways we can do this.

• 1. Do an eye contact check

• The next time you are talking with your friend, spouse, or co-worker, be self-aware enough to determine if you are looking directly into their eyes, or looking down at your smart phone while quasi-listening? Maintain eye contact and watch your conversations improve.

• 2. Set it down, walk away

• Physically set your smart phone, computer, iPad or other said digital device down, put it away, and literally walk away from it at least 3 times a day.

• 3. Choose a time to unplug

• Set an alarm at a pre-determined time every day that signals an exact time when you unplug and detach from the digital world. This means you are no longer available through your digital devices for the rest of that day or night.

• 4. Ask for accountability

• Invite your spouse, friend or roommate to keep you accountable in setting a pre-determined time to unplug and detach from your digital world.

• 5. Start with Facebook

• Facebook has over 800 million active users. This means one in every nine people on Earth is on Facebook. Facebook users spend an average of 15 hours and 33 minutes a month on the site. If you reduce your time on Facebook by 10 percent this month, you have just created 1.5 more hours to invest into your face-to-face friendships.
  Instead of allowing your digital world to control you, take control of your relationships by fully engaging yourself in undistracted, non-digital connecting time with your family and friends. When it comes to your relationships, perhaps it is time to tune in and log off, at the very least, put some rules in place for yourself and your loved one!
  Source: 5 Ways to stay connected in our digitally distracted age

Keeping Your Love Alive At A Distance

Saying goodbye's are never easy and when you need to say one to your other half, who is going miles away for work, traveling or studies ... it is all the more difficult. 

Keeping Your Love Alive at a Distance

Maintaining a healthy relationship when you are together is in itself not always easy with the pressures and stresses of life; maintaining a relationship when you are miles apart can be much more complex.
Time can have an impact on a long distance relationship as they can get influenced by problems like miscommunication, distrust and jealousy. Other people in your life, even friends and family can start to "contribute" and start off a cycle of mistrust.

Here's some advice on how to keep the fire of Romance and Love alive in your long distance relationship:

Be committed enough: First and foremost you need to understand that keeping a long distance relationship intact requires a lot of effort and commitment. Be true to yourself whether or not you really want to keep the relationship going. Maintaining such a relationship half heartedly is impossible.

Take advantage of new age technology: Cell phones, mobile phones, Internet, video chat, social media, skype and many such applications can help you stay in touch anytime anywhere and at almost no additional costs. Use these modes of communication generously to ensure that you stay in touch every day.

Give each other little surprises: Use the old age means of communications once in a while; write letters and send them through post; get a bunch of flowers or maybe even your loved one's favorite meal delivered to him now and again. These little steps will ensure that romance between the two of you never fades out.

Visit each other at regular intervals: Do not let the geographical distance discourage you to meet. Try and take turns to visit one another alternatively. Sure you could land up burning a small hole in your pocket but the visit will be worth every penny spent.

Resolve issues right away: If the two of you disagree over something, ensure you'll discuss it at length and sort it out immediately. Don't let pride and distrust overtake you; you need to set aside your ego to keep such a relation going.

Source: http://goarticles.com/article/Make-Your-Long-Distance-Relationship-Work/9753613/

How Does It Feel To Be Loved By Someone

Love is such a beautiful feeling that almost anyone of us human beings need in order to live a happier life, and help us realize ourselves in all the other important issues that life is made of. 

We need love to have a better career and work in an unstressed way, and a family that cares for us when we are in difficult times and in need of support. Being in love or feeling loved by someone is almost critical in our life, and so we search for love as just to make us feel better and conduct our lives in a healthier manner. In order for us to freely love someone else it is also important to understand that first we need to love ourselves in the best way possible and have a high esteem for our own soul. We need to love our personality and our own body and everything, or at least try to love almost everything about ourselves.

We might feel insecure about being loved by others in a way or another, surely for our weaknesses, but we need to be stronger in order to face and defeat our low points. The kind of love that we are aspiring to receive from another person also highly depends on our capabilities of being in love with ourselves, and with this we will more likely be appreciated and reciprocally loved in the same manner. Embracing love and all of it’s characteristics makes you achieve rewarding moments, when for example you feel that everything is falling apart around you, and then having someone that loves you just makes you feel emotionally better, and you feel certain that the person you have beside will embrace you with comfort. Life is made out of good and bad moments and love simply helps you out and supports you in the bad ones.

When we are receiving love from another person, our own personality changes, and  in the same time gives  us the ability to tackle life in a different and less pessimistic way. Difficult tasks may all of the sudden become easier to deal with, since love affects us in a positive way whatever kind of  things we are doing. Affection, tenderness and compassion are all love qualities that we are always searching for, and when in a relationship, we try to share the love we feel for our partner, and value her for the happiness that she gives us, making an effort to receive the same value of love from them. Real and true love makes a couple acquire stability in a relationship, making it stronger and unbreakable to any kind of temptation from other people trying to interfere in the love story.

So as a final thought let’s just try to understand that love is like a key that is given to us to use properly in order to receive a happier and decent life, and conduct a better living with other human beings.

Source: http://seducelove.com/how-does-it-feel-to-be-loved-by-someone/

There Are No Stupid Questions About Love

 Ask yourself the question ... when it comes to love ... will you ever have all the answers?

The one way you can start to find the answers is by asking questions ... and when it comes to love and loving, there are not any stupid questions ... or answers.

There always seem to be more to learn about love, and just when you think you are starting to get the answers, life happens and we get a totally different view on things.

Reality comes down to getting and giving love where you can get and give love, however trivial or serious the source of the love may seem to be.

Love is a feeling and emotion that transcends seriousness or trivial silliness. Treat Love as the value it is and use it carefully and make sure you do not abuse it. 

When you realize that you are not just considering love by searching through "stupid" questions or answers about love, it is all about context, understanding and the realities about love. As we mature and expand our experience of life, and love ... we start to create new meanings, new understandings and a whole new series of values that surround it.

Love is something to be experienced, a sensation or gamut of emotions that run through our lives dancing, twirling and mesmerizing even the disillusioned amongst us.

To open up the possibilities, start asking the questions, the crazy, zany, fun, serious, hard, impossible, insipid and even the most colourful to expand your experience of creating an experience that transcends where you are right now!

Size Does Matter

Use your best asset to get (and give) the best sex ever!

When students ask me how to get or give better sex, I ask them, “How big is it?

We may joke about whether or not “size matters,” but beneath the joking is often a deep longing for a fuller, more satisfying experience of romance, sexuality, and intimacy.

I pause for a few seconds after my students’ question until I see a bright, red blush, and then I clarify my question: “How big is your heart?”

Then, I ask them to tell me how they use their hearts before they ever consider using anything else. Few, if any, recall connecting at the heart level as part of their foreplay. I point out that they may well be forgetting to use their best asset to give and get the most satisfying sex.

When I recommend that partners connect by taking the time to ask each other what they really, specifically want and enjoy during sex, some get downright adamant around their belief that this conversation  “just wouldn’t work!”

When I dig a little deeper, I often find one or more of the following assumptions in their thinking:

>> He/she should know what I like.
>> Talking about sex before or during intimacy breaks the mood.
>> I just can’t bring myself to say out loud what I want.
>> I feel stupid/inadequate/inept when she/he tells me how to pleasure her/him.
>> I don’t like being told how to be or perform in bed.
>> It should just happen naturally.

Some truths that I hear in the subtext of these comments are a fear of embarrassment, a deep desire for acceptance from one’s partner, along with a fear of vulnerability, even though they deeply long for it. When partners face these fears head-on and accept themselves and each other with compassion, they often can break through the obstacles that the assumptions create.

I continue to encourage them to have real conversations about their real and deep longings around sexual intimacy. If it is too intense to talk with each other at first, then I suggest they talk with a trusted friend, life coach, or counselor in a  “practice conversation”. This can help address some of those fears apart from “the real” conversation which in turn can help reduce any anxiety they might have.

It can take some time to establish a level of trust in an intimate relationship that offers enough safety for this conversation to happen. However, when both partners are ready, not only can it help create sex that rocks their worlds, it can take the relationship to life-changing depths and even become a truly spiritual experience.

How does this heart connection thing actually work? It’s pretty simple.

Here is the process:

>> Make a nonjudgmental observation about your experience of the relationship (sexually speaking) or ask an opening question.
>> Listen with an open heart and mind to your partner’s response, paying attention to what they are telling you about their longings and their feelings.
>> Reflect back what you hear them saying to be sure you are understanding all the nuances of their longings and feelings and to create deeper connection in the moment.
>> Keep listening and reflecting until you know you have really heard her/him.
>> When your partner has fully expressed her or his longings and feelings, offer your own and ask him or her to reflect back what they hear you saying until you know you have been heard.
>> With this new understanding of one another, explore what specific actions you could take outside and inside the bedroom to bring one another more pleasure and create deeper connection.
>> Then do it!

Here’s an example of a possible conversation.

Mike:  “Jen, I’m really enjoying what we have going and I’m wanting to explore some ways to deepen our relationship. I’m wondering if we could talk about our sexual intimacy and how we could connect more deeply around that? I’d really like to hear how our sexual connection is for you and how I might help make it more meaningful and pleasurable for you.”

Jen: “Yeah, well, I really like the closeness I feel with you, Mike, especially when we have time to tune into each other for a while before we go to bed. I feel so safe and open when I know how you are doing and when you listen to me in that way you do when you really understand what’s going on in me.”

Mike: So, you feel the most intimate when we have created some closeness before we make love? And being heard really helps you have a sense of safety and openness. Is that right?”

Jen: “Yes, and then when we are making love, it drives me wild when you whisper my name!”

And so on.

As you continue to increase your heart’s capacity and ability to connect with your partner, you can try some or all of the following strategies.

>> Start talking at the dining room table.
>> Be mindful of your responses and reactions during conversations about intimacy.
>> Practice empathy toward yourself and your partner.
>> Practice honesty
>> Reframe “failures” as learnings.

Celebrate when you show up the way you enjoy and the intimacy is delicious. 

And remember: the goal is to grow bigger hearts, deepen your connection, and enjoy the ride.

Source: http://www.elephantjournal.com/2014/01/size-really-does-matter/

Author: Doyle Banks provides clients with useable skills that help them get more positive results in their interpersonal relationships.