Tell Someone You LOVE Them!

Before you go to sleep tonight tell

Someone you Love them!

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Every Time She Laughs

Every time she laughs
She hopes he's watching.
Not so that he sees she's happy
but that maybe ... just maybe
He'll fall for her smile
Just as hard as she fell for his ...

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How In Tune Are You?

 

Being "In Tune" and knowing how the special person in your life thinks, and feels is one of the most powerful things you can have in your interaction.

Why?

Because, you are connected, you are going in the same direction. And, when you know someone is in a "Great" place, then you can have more Romantic Moments! 

To Be Brave

To be brave  is to love someone unconditionally ... without expecting anything in return - Madonna

Listening is a Powerful Quality

The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT

This short quote really struck gold!

How many times have you found yourself talking over someone when they are trying to tell you something.

Some people are really great at STOPPING ... Staying SILENT ...

And then the Magic Happens - once the really LISTEN, they can hear the message that is being shared.

*******

Today was one of those days where there was a lot of blame going on between business partners, but to be honest - neither of them was actually taking the time to Listen!

We ALL need to take a moment and STOP, because it happens in Business, in Family Relationships AND in your most important relationship with your Partner, Spouse or Lover.

We can all look for excuses ... or we can look to have the BEST Relationship!

It is each person's own decision how they are going to approach the problems at hand.

3 Ways to Be Irresistibly Attractive to Men

Women are afraid of being women…
 
That’s right; women are actually scared of being women.
 
How many times have you seen or heard of women who are uncomfortable…
just BEING THEMSELVES?
 
It’s almost as if they don’t have their own permission to be themselves…
Perhaps you know someone, intimately, who has done this?! (ie. YOU?)
 
Well, really it isn’t your fault. Sometimes, by being an authentic woman, you can really get yourself into dangerous situations if you were to bring attention onto yourself. You see, men have preyed on women for as long as we’ve been around on this Earth. (Not all men, thank god!) So it’s totally justified to not be comfortable being a woman.
 
But here’s the problem…if you’re not comfortable being a woman, (and men are attracted to women), then how are you going to be able to attract men? How will you be seen as attractive to men? How will men find you desirable?
 
So it’s time for you to get in touch with your true feminine side again and understand that you ARE a beautiful woman.

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Valentine's Day Last Minute Ideas

With Valentine's Day this weekend, we're sure there's are many of you out there who have left your plans to the last minute! And now it's too late to get a reservation at your favourite restaurant.
 
Well don't fret because there are 10 super practical, perfect last minute date ideas that will have you winning with your special someone.
 
1. An All Night Rom-Com Movie Marathon
Sometimes it's those lazy nights in that end up being the most fun! Why not organise to have your partner's all time favourite Rom-Coms lined up for a bit of a movie marathon. No doubt to be accompanied with wine and chocolate and if you're up for it, cook their favourite dinner. However if that's asking a bit much there's no shame in ordering their favourite take out. 

In case you need some inspiration, our list of the top 10 Romantic Comedies of all time are:
Pretty Woman
When Harry Met Sally
He's Just Not That Into You
Love actually
The Holiday
P.S. I love You
The Notebook
How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days
Notting Hill
The Proposal
 
2. Picnic
It seems like an obvious choice, but that's because it never fails to impress! Hit the markets, gather together some cheese and crackers, cold meats, strawberries and champagne. Pack a blanket and utensils and you're good to go. Picnics don't require the fuss of a dinner reservation, the risk of bad food or a hefty bill. A picnic's charm lies mostly in it's intimacy. It doesn't necessarily have to be in a park, other romantic settings include beaches or at the end of a wharf, get creative! 

3. Breakfast In Bed
There's nothing better than sleeping in on a weekend... Oh wait there is, having breakfast in bed! This Valentine's Day jump out of bed a little earlier than your partner and whip them up something nice. Pancakes, bacon and eggs, croissants from the local bakery, fresh orange juice or even champagne. Don't be afraid to add flowers and warm coffee, perfection! 

4. A Spa Day
For the person who's been working hard and needs some time to unwind, take them somewhere indulgent where they can have their choice of a massage, facial or pedicure. The reason this idea is so great, is that you can book for two and both enjoy it!

5. A Fancy Lunch Date
Let's face it... if you're leaving it to the last minute, then it's always going to be hard getting that dinner reservation, so why not lunch! Get all dressed up, sit back and enjoy each others company and then leave the night time free for some alone time!

6. A Shopping Excursion
If your special someone is expecting a gift and you don't know what to get them, then why not plan a shopping day! Who doesn't love picking their own gift! Dedicate the whole day showing them you're interested in their needs and what they like, maybe what they like you'll enjoy as well, cue the lingerie stores! 

7. Tickets To Something They Would Love
Could be the latest movie, a sports game, or the theatre, whatever your taste there is always an event on! The great thing about these sort of dates, is the excitement and atmosphere that surrounds them. It's guaranteed fun and perfect for the couple who isn't into a gushing romance sort of occasion.

8. A Trip To The Zoo
Maybe this Valentine's day isn't just about the two of you anymore, maybe there are little ones who you want to involve in the festivities too. A trip to the zoo is always a fun and enjoyable day for everyone. Strolling past the enclosures, stopping off for an ice-cream and enjoying each others company is maybe all the romance you want. 

9. Cooking Class
Cooking classes make great gifts, Thai, Italian or French there is always something to meet your tastes. Put an end to all arguments in the kitchen by learning how to cook a meal together. This is bound to be fun and will mean many more enjoyable meals together to come in the future. 

10. Star Gazing
Bring a blanket and pack dessert to finish off your special day with a special night underneath the stars. Lie down, look up and relax. It doesn't get any more romantic than moonlight. 

Whatever last minute Valentine’s Day you’re planning for this weekend... Make sure your surprise isn't late!

You Open My Heart

Take Care of My Heart ... I've left it with you!

If I had to choose between loving you and breathing. I would use my last breath to say I love you.

9 Signs You've Found Your Soulmate

After some of the interesting comments on the Soulmate blog post a few days earlier, this article really answered a few of the burning questions!!

Have you found your Soulmate? ... (If you believe in that sort of thing)
by author Kelsey Borresen

Mention the word “soulmate” to a group of people and you’re bound to get a few eye rolls. The idea that there’s one magical person for you who you’ll fall in love with instantly and never disagree with is just not realistic.

What does exist — at least for many people — is a person who you know instinctively, who you connect with on the deepest level and who allows you to grow as a person within the relationship. When that person is a romantic partner, you’ve come across something truly special.

So how do you know when you’ve found The One? 

Below, a team of love and relationship experts identify the most telling signs.

1. You communicate without speaking.

Soulmates can read each other like an open book. “They connect fervently on every level of being,” clinical psychologist and relationship expert Dr. Carmen Harra told The Huffington Post. “One may finish the other’s sentences, they may pick up the phone to call each other simultaneously, or feel like they simply can’t be without their partner.”

Dr. Sue Johnson, a clinical psychologist and author of Love Sense, said that a soulmate also knows how to respond to your emotional signals. “They stay close when you confide, give you their full attention and move in to answer to your needs, touching your hand when you are a little unsure, beaming and hugging you when you are glad, and tenderly comforting you when you are in pain,” she added.

2. You know in your gut that you’ve found The One.

The old adage “When you know, you know” rings true when it comes to a soulmate connection. “There really is no guessing or wondering when the real thing comes along,” wedding officiant and author Rev. Laurie Sue Brockway told The Huffington Post. “There is usually a telltale sign that lets you know when true love has arrived -– a voice in your head, a sense of recognition or a gut feeling that this is someone special to you.”


3. The physical chemistry is palpable…

…and the electricity that you feel doesn’t just happen on a sexual level. “Holding the hand of your soulmate throws your spirit into a whirlwind, even many years into the relationship,” Harra said.

4. You’ve been totally comfortable around each other since day one.

Soulmates connect with ease right off the bat and let their true colors show without fear of judgment. “Soulmates often feel a sense of the familiar and a sense of comfort around each other,” Brockway said. “Many people say it’s easier to relax into that person and allow themselves to be vulnerable.”

“It is the one who opens up to you –- who lets you in, so you can see them,” Johnson added. “This is the kind of person who takes risks and shares about their inner world, their emotions and their needs.”

5. But the relationship isn’t all rainbows and butterflies. He or she challenges you like no one else can.
The soulmate relationship, despite what people might assume, isn’t always smooth sailing. “A soulmate isn’t always wrapped in the perfect package, physically or in terms of life circumstances — nor does it mean that the relationship will come without challenge,” author Kailen Rosenberg of matchmaking firm The Love Architects said. “Yet, the difference is that the life circumstances and the difficult challenges are a strengthening power that becomes the glue that keeps you together through the difficult times and helps each of you become your most authentic self.”

What’s more, we rely on our soulmates to help us evolve as people. “You might find a soulmate relationship to be rocky, and that your partner is someone who pushes your buttons and aggravates you at first because they bring with them some of the more difficult lessons for the soul,” Brockway said.

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6. You may not see eye-to-eye on every little thing, but you’re on the same page where it really matters.

“A soulmate relationship doesn’t necessarily mean both partners always share the same views, but that their overall goals and ambitions match,” Harra said. “More diminutive opinions will differ, but soulmates generally have the same virtues and values and see the world through a similar lens.”

7. The relationship brings both partners a sense of inner calm.

It’s obvious when you’re with the wrong person; you are insecure about the relationship and worry that one false move will turn your partner off. That’s not the case for soulmates.

“You feel confident that your partner is with you for the long haul,” dating expert Tracey Steinberg, author of Flirt For Fun & Meet The One said. “No matter what happens in your lives, you both agree that you are teammates and in it together.” She continued, “Your inner voice tells you that you are in a healthy relationship. You trust each other, feel confident and comfortable around each other and feel safe discussing challenging topics in a mature way.”

8. You and your partner have separate identities, but you face the world as one.

“Soulmates recognize that they are two parts of the same whole, and no outside influence or external matter can break that bond,” Harra said.

9. You may have known each other for years, but you suddenly find yourselves ready for love at the same time.

When it comes to true love, timing is everything. “I have married so many couples who met in high school or in their twenties, maybe dated, broke up, moved on, or hung out around the same circle of friends and never connected,” Brockway told The Huffington Post. “Then one day, they run into each other again, sometimes in magical ways, and love blooms.” Keep an open mind and an open heart so that when your soulmate comes knocking, you’re ready to answer the door.


Source: /9-signs-youve-found-your-soulmate/

Get Out of the Grey Area - The Ultimate Advice

Think about this for a moment: Why would you ever choose to be with someone who is not excited to be with you?

There’s a grey area in dating many people get hung up on — a grey area where feelings are ambiguous or one person has stronger feelings than the other. This grey area causes real, tangible issues. As a man, a huge question is often whether to be persistent and continue pursuing a woman even when she seems lukewarm or hot/cold on your advances. For women, a common question is what to do with men who make their feelings ambiguous.

“She said she’s not interested, but she still flirts with me, so what do I need to do to get her?”
“Well, I know she likes me, but she didn’t call me back last weekend, what should I do?”
“He treats me well when he’s around, but he’s hardly around. What does that mean?”

Most dating advice exists to “solve” this grey area for people. Say this line. Text her this. Call him this many times. Wear that.

Much of it gets exceedingly analytical, to the point where some men and women actually spend more time analyzing behaviors than actually, you know, behaving.

Frustration with this grey area also drives many people to unnecessary manipulation, drama and game-playing. This is where you get rules about making men pay for this many dates before you can become intimate. Or how men need to transition from attraction phase to comfort phase by qualifying three times before they’re allowed to commence an escalation ladder.

These things may seem clever and exciting to some people who are stuck or frustrated. But this dating advice misses the point. If you’re in the grey area to begin with, you’ve already lost.
Let me ask again: Why would you ever be excited to be with someone who is not excited to be with you? If they’re not happy with you now, what makes you think they’ll be happy to be with you later? Why do you make an effort to convince someone to date you when they make no effort to convince you?

What does that say about you? That you believe you need to convince people to be with you?

You wouldn’t buy a dog that bites you all the time. And you wouldn’t be friends with someone who regularly ditches you. You wouldn’t work a job that doesn’t pay you. Then why the hell are you trying to make a girlfriend out of a woman who doesn’t want to date you? Where’s your self-respect?

The entrepreneur Derek Sivers once wrote a blog post where he said, “If I’m not saying ‘Hell Yeah!’ to something, then I say no.” It served him well in the business world and now I’d like to apply it to the dating world. And because I’m more of a vulgar asshole than Derek is, I’ll christen mine The Law of “Fuck Yes or No.”

The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, they must inspire you to say “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.

The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” also states that when you want to get involved with someone new, in whatever capacity, THEY must respond with a “Fuck Yes” in order for you to proceed with them.

As you can see, The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” implies that both parties must be enthusiastic about the prospect of one another’s company. Why? Because attractive, non-needy, high self-worth people don’t have time for people who they are not excited to be with and who are not excited to be with them.

This may sound a bit idealistic to some. But The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” has many tangible benefits on your dating life:

1. No longer be strung along by people who aren’t that into you. End all of the headaches. End the wishing and hoping. End the disappoint and anger that inevitably follows. Start practicing self-respect. Become the rejector, not the rejected.
 
2. No longer pursue people you are so-so on for ego purposes. We’ve all been there. We were so-so about somebody, but we went along with it because nothing better was around. And we all have a few we’d like to take back. No more.
 
3. Consent issues are instantly resolved. If someone is playing games with you, playing hard to get, or pressuring you into doing something you’re unsure about, your answer is now easy. Or as I often like to say in regards to dating, “If you have to ask, then that’s your answer.”
4. Establish strong personal boundaries and enforce them. Maintaining strong boundaries not only makes one more confident and attractive, but also helps to preserve one’s sanity in the long-run.
 
5. Always know where you stand with the other person. Since you’re now freeing up so much time and energy from people you’re not that into, and people who are not that into you, you now find yourself perpetually in interactions where people’s intentions are clear and enthusiastic. Sweet!
 

The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” is applicable to dating, sex, relationships, even friendships. You may have absolutely nothing in common with that bartender. But they’re hot and are interested in getting down. Is it a “Fuck Yes!” for sex? It is? Then game on.

Wrapped up in that sweet guy who treats you so well, except goes weeks without calling you and suddenly disappears after a couple drinks and a round of the horizontal polka? Been wondering if he really likes you? Do his excuses of being so busy all the time seem legit? It doesn’t sound like the answer is a “Fuck yes.” Then it’s time to move on.

Making out with a girl at your house and every time you go to take her shirt off she swats your hands away? That is not a “Fuck Yes,” my friend, therefore, it’s a no and you shouldn’t pressure her. The best sex is “Fuck Yes” sex — i.e., both people are shouting “Fuck Yes” as they hop between the sheets together. If she’s not hopping, then there’s no fucking.

(Hint Fellas: This is a great time to ask the girl why she’s not comfortable, and what she’s looking for from you. That, by itself — you know, treating her like a human and empathizing with her — often solves this “problem.”)

Want to date that woman you met last weekend but she keeps ignoring your texts and calls? Not sure what to say or do, especially since she seemed so happy to go out with you when you initially met her? Well, my friend, this is obviously not a “Fuck Yes.” Therefore, it is a “No.” Delete her number and move on.

Fuck Yes or No applies to relationships as well. My girlfriend works with a guy who got married because “it seemed like the right thing to do.” Four years later, he was cheating on his wife every chance he got. The marriage was not a Fuck Yes for him, therefore it should have been a No.

Sometimes The Law of Fuck Yes or No will apply differently on different levels. You may be a “Fuck Yes” for friendship with someone, but mildly excited to have sex with them. Therefore, it’s a no. You may be a “Fuck Yes” on banging someone’s brains out, but a definite “No” on actually spending any time with them. Apply the law to your decision-making as it suits your current needs.

Fuck Yes or No doesn’t necessarily mean you have to be falling in knee-wobbling love at first sight. It doesn’t even mean you have be completely convinced that someone is right for you. You can be “Fuck Yes” about getting to know someone better. You can be “Fuck Yes” about seeing someone again because you think there’s something there. You can be “Fuck Yes” about giving things a few months to pan out and see if you can fix the problems in the relationship.

The point is: both you and the other person need to be fuck yes about something, otherwise you’re just wasting your time.

But the real beauty of The Law of “Fuck Yes or No” is that it simplifies the problems you can have in your dating life. When applying the Law of “Fuck Yes or No,” there are really only two problems one can have.

The first problem is people who never feel a “Fuck Yes” for anybody they meet. If you are lukewarm on absolutely everyone you meet, then either your demographics are way off, or you suffer from a lack of vulnerability and are protecting yourself by remaining indifferent and unenthused by all of those around you.

Remember, it’s your job to look for something cool in everyone you meet; it’s not their job to show you. This is life, not a fucking sales convention. Learning to appreciate people you meet is a skill you cultivate. So get on it. This doesn’t mean you have to fall in love with everyone who breathes in your direction. It just means you need to take responsibility for your ability to connect with the people you are meeting.

The second problem is people who never meet others who feel a “Fuck Yes” for them. If all of the people you pursue give you a mild responses, or outright rejections, then it’s time to focus on improving yourself. Ask yourself, what is it about yourself that would inspire others to say “Fuck Yes” about you? If the answer is not obvious, then you get to work. Build yourself into a person others would say “Fuck Yes” to.

And this is the ultimate dating advice lesson — man, woman, gay, straight, trans, furry, whatever — the only real dating advice is self improvement. Everything else is a distraction, a futile battle in the grey area, a prolonged ego trip. Because, yes, with the right tools and performance, you may be able to con somebody into sleeping with you, dating you, even marrying you. But you will have won the battle by sacrificing the war, the war of long-term happiness.

Source: fuck-yes 
Author: Mark Manson - He is an author, blogger and entrepreneur. He writes about unconventional life advice, think of it as self-help for people who hate self-help. Find happiness through struggle. 

Are Men Afraid of Relationships?

I bet you can think of at least one man who was intent on staying single and even shunned what could have been a great relationship with amazing woman just because he didn’t want a “serious relationship.”

But then, just a few weeks or months later, that man met another woman. And within just a few weeks with this new woman he was completely sprung and head over heels for her… and he was begging HER for a committed relationship.

Fascinating…

If you’re like most women, then you’ve seen several men you know do this “instant switch” thing where all of a sudden they want a serious relationship, even though all they could talk about before was being “on their own.”

Here’s the reality: Most men are never “ready” for a relationship… not until they feel the magical feelings and experiences with a woman that tell them “Hey, this is the woman for me.”

“For a man, the connection he feels with a woman early on can have nothing to do with whether or not he wants a relationship with her.”


A Man Rarely Consciously Decides To Fall In Love! 

Love - and a lasting relationship – is something that a man discovers when a woman affects him in a deep, intense, emotional way to the point where he literally makes a “shift,” and his old conscious and “logical” thoughts of wanting to wait are simply overcome with his DESIRE.

A woman is totally different. When a woman feels that intense physical and emotional connection with a man, she’s often carried away by it. And when this happens, something fascinating takes place inside the minds and bodies of most women…

They start to believe that the connection they feel with a man is in and of itself proof that this is a “special” situation. It makes them believe that it’s going to become a deeper relationship and that the man must be sharing these same feelings.

Connection Does Not Equal Relationship

"For a man, the connection he feels with a woman early on can have nothing to do with whether or not he wants a relationship with her."

He may call her, spend time with her, and even get physically involved with her even though he doesn’t yet want a relationship with her.
What I’m getting at here is that there’s a danger in dating if you don’t understand how men think and behave. There’s a danger in that you as the woman expect one thing because of the connection you feel, but the man is completely in a different place, emotionally. I call this “The Danger Of A Connection.”

When you are connecting, you are doing that ... keep back something special that the man can feel is going to make the relationship important, valuable and one he wants to keep alive!

Source: are-men-afraid-of-relationships

5 Ways To Have Amazing Relationships Whilst Chasing Your Dreams

It would be great to be motivated, achieve lots of business success and become financially free but what if you had nobody to share it with? 

Truly caring and understanding your loved ones on a daily basis is an invaluable skill. As you become more successful you will appreciate the time and effort you put in to your relationships.

Relationships are like any other aspect in life; if it is not going forwards the chances are it is going backwards. It is imperative that you become aware of the relationships in your life that you are neglecting.

Here are 5 Creative ways that you can have amazing relationships whilst you are chasing your dreams.

Relationship Advice For Goal Orientated and Self-motivated Men and Women

1. Don’t just hear…..Listen!

Your ears are never closed, so you will always be able to hear what is being said but listening and paying attention with the goal of understanding what the other person is saying is a totally different skill. Actually listening involves maintaining eye contact, watching their body to see if they are becoming more uptight or more relaxed as they deliver their message.

Listening involves repeating information back to the person to make sure you have ‘got the message’. When you are listening properly you will not get immediately defensive if it is something that you interpret as a potential ‘criticism’.

2. They Can’t Argue On Their Own

The dictionary definition of an argument is ‘an exchange of diverging or opposite views, typically a heated or angry one’. 

The key word for me here is exchange. The word exchange means that two people have to be involved. If you remove yourself from the exchange of opposite views then it can’t be an argument anymore. 

It doesn’t matter whether it’s your spouse or a work colleague; you can take control and turn the argument into a discussion where you can see the situation through their eyes and turn the argument into a discussion with an actual resolution at the end of it, rather than two angry people going nowhere.

3. Breathe, Think, Pause….. And Respond

I know that the above approach sounds great in theory but what action can you take to make it a reality. 

Whenever I can feel myself on the verge of what could potentially be an argument with someone I love or a peer I think to myself “come on; B.P.T.R”. B.P.T.R stands for Breathe, Pause, Think, and Respond. 

If you were totally honest with yourself; if you utilized this technique in the last ‘argument’ you had it wouldn’t have happened. Most arguments escalate to the next level because you react and say something that ten minutes later you wish that you hadn’t said. 

True or true? 

Do this yourself and you’ll notice huge improvements with all of your interactions with other people and most importantly, those you love.

Next time you find yourself in a situation where someone in your life says something that could create ‘that feeling’ where you just want to ‘bite back’…BREATHE – take the oxygen in that will allow you think clearly. PAUSE – allow your conscious mind to take control. THINK – let the most useful resourceful, ‘solution-focused’ response come to you and only then should you RESPOND.

4. Daily Love

When it comes to our intimate relationships, we often forget the ‘little things’ that make a big difference. There are genuinely so many things that you can do EVERY DAY that have little or zero financial cost that really can make your partner feel that extra bit more loved. Introduce daily passion into the mix as well and long-term success is inevitable.

Personally, I like to write what I call a ‘little love note’ every single day, with a message of love, appreciation and gratitude. 

It is also crucial to make sure you make a ‘big deal’ out of the first time that you see your partner at the end of the day. Take your head out of the TV, your phone or your computer and jump up and give them a big passionate kiss. This may sound like an amazingly simple idea and I truly believe that it will make all of the difference for you.

5. You Need Relationship Goals

You have a goal for your body, you have a goal for your finances, you seem to have goal for every area of your life apart from what could arguably be the most important.  

Think about it; for something to make progress and improve it has to be moving towards a worthy goal.

In a relationship it is very easy to get ‘comfortable’, however, this is dangerous state to be in and what was once a beautiful relationship can begin to slide backwards. 

As with any part of our lives the easiest way to combat this is to set a goal. You could set a goal to take your partner on a weekend away or to buy them flowers once a month or take them for a meal once a week. 

What you do isn’t as important as committing to actually doing something.


Source: success-advice/5-ways-to-have-amazing-relationships-whilst-chasing-your-dreams/

7 Relationship Needs All Women Have

Men and women are at an emotional stalemate.

We feel something’s lacking in our relationships. The majority of men aren’t able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men.

Women aren’t opening because men aren’t giving them what they need. Women feel disappointed and resentful; they are suffering. When women suffer, and they feel like they aren’t being seen, they close off to their men.

Fortunately, you can learn the right tools to be able to more fully penetrate your woman. You can give your partner what she needs, allowing her to feel seen so that she will open again.

Take the time to read through these needs. Let them sink in. Understanding what you can do to help your partner fully open will not only improve your relationship, but it will improve your entire life.

Here are the seven things that all women want in a relationship.

1. To Feel Loved

When women feel loved, they relax and open to us. The arguments dissipate, the sex is abundant, and their nurturing feminine energy flows throughout our lives.

Not feeling loved is the subtext of every argument that you and your partner have.

If she is unhappy that you are going out with your friends, or she’s upset about her day at work, or she is only responding to you with brief snippets of sentences, then the cause is most likely her not feeling loved enough.

Learn to see through her words, actions, and moods and see what the real root of it is.

2. To Feel Safe

There is a war being waged on women’s self-esteem, sexuality, and safety from a very young age.

Because of the barrage of dis empowering messages being sent to women regarding their sexuality, women need to have a safe space where they feel that they can trust their partners.

She wants to trust your strength. She wants to feel like you can handle whatever she shows you.

She wants to feel like you will not judge her if she asks for something risqué. She wants to know you won’t collapse in defeat if she tells you to do it “This way” instead.

By creating a safe space for your woman to open up to you emotionally and sexually, you will be giving her a very powerful gift- you allow her to grow within your relationship and undo old emotional damage.

3. To Feel Seen

Women want to feel seen.

She wants to feel you hearing her, and being aware of her emotional state.

She doesn’t necessarily want you to be affected by her emotional state, but she does want you to be witness to it.

If she is sitting across the room from you and you aren’t picking up on the fact that she is suffering emotionally and on the verge of tears, she will begin to trust you less. She will think, “If he can’t see that I am hurting now, how long will it take him to figure it out? Will I be suffering for days or weeks before he is aware of it or cares enough to help me through this? I guess I have to rely on myself for my own emotional support.”

Life can seem extremely lonely, even within a relationship. You have to constantly show your partner that at least one person will be witness to her and her journey through life. (Hint: that person is you.)

4. To Be Allowed To Be Nurturing

Just as masculine energy has the need to protect, feminine energy has the desire to nurture.

Women want to see the cracks in our armor. They want to see that we trust them enough to open up to them. They want to be able to help us through our sadness.

An integrated, evolved man who has a balanced masculine energy as well as his own sliver of feminine would welcome his woman’s nurturing.

If you are a guy reading this, have you ever held open a door for a woman because it’s the polite thing to do (but more just because she’s a person and it wasn’t even a gender-based act) and she chews your ear off for it? “Oh what? I can’t open the door for myself because I’m a woman?! You sexist pig!”

That is an example of a wounded, unbalanced woman who doesn’t want to accept help from a masculine source. This is exactly how it feels to your partner when you push her away when you feel the most vulnerable. “I don’t need to lay my head down on your chest and tell you about my feelings because I don’t have any!” That is a lie. It’s a lie that serves your purpose of not letting your partner in. This lack of vulnerability and authenticity is what is making you and your partner suffer.

So let her in. She wants to love you.

5. To Feel Sexually Desired

What’s a major difference between your relationship to your partner and your relationship to everyone else in your life? You have sex with your partner.

Women need to feel sexually desired. They want to make sure that you see and appreciate them as a feminine, sexual being.

Praise her body. Feel her and grab her appreciatively. Remind her that you see her as a sexual being and you will both benefit.

6. To Be Appreciated

The feminine in all people responds primarily to praise and appreciation.

Remind your partner that you love her. Tell her that you appreciate what she brings to your life. Show her how much she means to you.

The fastest way to run your relationship into the ground is by ignoring your partner and taking her for granted. Appreciation is the opposite of those things. Appreciation is the embodying this mindset: “I am aware of what you bring to my life, and I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well.”

So tell her what you appreciate, and tell her often.

7. To Feel Like She Can Count On You

Life gets pretty messy sometimes.

When life’s unavoidable difficulties arise, do you fall apart under pressure or are you able to bend and not break?

Women want to know that we can handle ourselves when life happens. They want to know that we won’t run and hide when they get a bit ‘too emotional’ for our liking. They want to know that they can count on us.

When you tell your partner you’ll do something, and then you don’t do it, it hurts her. She loses a piece of trust in you that has to be earned back. Even seemingly small things break that trust like you saying that you will wash the dishes shortly after dinner, but washing them the next morning instead.

When enough small transgressions like this are sprinkled throughout your relationship, she will distrust you.

Do what you say you will do, be who you say you are, and be consistent in your actions.

What Do Women Want In A Relationship?

Women want partners that care.

Women don’t want perfect partners; they want men who are striving to be their best selves.

She doesn’t necessarily want someone who has every step of his life pre-planned, but she wants someone with drive and with goals.

She doesn’t necessarily want someone who cries every day, but she does want someone who has the courage to cry in front of her when he needs to.

She doesn’t necessarily want someone who stays in therapy for his entire life, but she does want someone who has the courage to face his own emotional demons.

So put in the work. End the stalemate. Decide that you want to be in the kind of relationship that most people don’t have and you want to put in the effort necessary to become that kind of man.

The women of the world are waiting for us. And they want us to step up just as badly as we want them to open up.

Dedicated to your success

Source: 7-things-women-need-in-a-relationship/
Article Written by Jordan Gray, Relationship Coach

For the Women ... Find out if the "Love Lie" is keeping you Single?

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Where Do Valentines Day Traditions Come From?

For hundreds of years Valentines Day has been celebrated by lovers everywhere. 

Where did this traditions start anyway, and why to we exchange Valentines Day flowers and candies with each other? 

Well, I have done some searching and I have come across some interesting stories that go along with this tradition. Some of these stories may be true and others may be just what they're supposed to be... stories. 

Here is a short version of what may have really been the beginning of sending Valentines Day flowers on Valentines Day.

Why was St. Valentine so important?
About 800 years before Valentines Day was established, A man named Claudius was in power in Rome . He felt that marriage was a bad thing because it made poor soldiers out of men. So, he banned marriage from his empire. St. Valentine did not agree with this rule, so he would secretly marry couples that came to him. St. Valentine was caught and soon after he was stoned and then beheaded.

Valentine Traditions

In Wales, wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on February 14th. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favorite decorations on the spoons. The decoration meant, “You unlock my heart!”
In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

In some countries, a young woman may receive a gift of clothing from a young man. If she keeps the gift, it means she will marry him.

Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine’s Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.

No matter what is true and what is myth, Valentines Day has become big business for the flower, card, and candy companies. Many exist only because of this one day a year. 

Today's Traditions

If you are a man ... and have a wife or girlfriend, and you let Valentines Day go by without getting her flowers or candy, you may find yourself in big trouble. So take my advice, put some effort into your gift too. 

There is nothing worse than seeing everyone at work receiving candy, flowers or gifts sent through to them ... and not receiving anything. Even a gift voucher for a special pampering session in a card can make someone smile!

A carefully chosen Valentine's Day card or gift will take you a long way; some women love flowers, others would be happy with a plant that they can put in the garden to enjoy year after year. 

Think about the gift ... what could you give the person you love which could make them feel special? It is not always about the money spent, but the thought about how special and nurtured they feel.

A hint ... if you feel the flowers are too expensive over Valentine's Day, spend it on something different, a treat and send some flowers over when they are a little more reasonable. The fun part of this is that you will make everyone wonder at your lover's workplace what you are celebrating!

If you’re lucky enough to have someone who loves you on Valentine's Day, then you should show him or her how much they mean to you.

The 7 things Women Will Always Be Attracted To In a Man

Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy world as “weak”.

Men’s relationship coach, Jordan Grey has discovered that "Guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards."

He goes on to share "I’ve encountered countless driven entrepreneurs who work tirelessly for years to amass their fortune only to find that the wall of cash that they’ve built around themselves is only making it more difficult for them to find a woman who values them for their character.

"I’ve had potential clients be “on the fence” about whether to spend some of their cherished time and money doing their internal work, but they don’t hesitate to buy a flashy watch or car (presumably for the same end goal of trying to attract a high quality women into their lives… *face palm*)."

So if cash-flow, fancy accessories, and an unexpressive face don’t attract high quality, loving women (which they really don’t) then what character traits are women attracted to?

Here are seven of the most important things that women will always be attracted to.

Be conscious of a few of these in your daily life and you’ll save yourself time, money, frustration, and headaches in trying to deeply engage your dream woman on an emotional level.
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To 

1. Drive

“I’m really attracted to a guy who knows what he wants in life and is going after it. I absolutely adore being around that kind of energy.” – Jessica, 27

Women are attracted to men that have goals and are actively pursuing them.

Masculine energy is directional energy. Like a boulder rolling down a hill, the single-focus energy that penetrates through resistance in pursuit of achieving an end result is very attractive to women.

But drive isn’t always enough on its own. Ideally you’ll be driven in something that you’re passionate about.

High quality women are infinitely more attracted to a man who is dripping with passion about his work as an artist (despite making under $30,000/year) compared to a man who reluctantly went into law to please his parents and is so unenthusiastic about his work that he uses self-deprecating and dismissive language every time you try and talk to him about it.

As much as most men resist this idea, when it comes to attracting a high value woman of character, drive beats dollars every time.

2. Presence

Every person wants to feel deeply seen and understood by someone in their lives… but few people want to take the time to explain or reveal themselves.

When it comes to deeply connecting with a woman on an emotional level, your presence will always mean more than any presents ever could.

By being fully present with women (through eye contact, listening, and prioritizing distraction-free conversations) you give them the sense of feeling seen.

Everyone (male or female) wants to feel deeply seen and appreciated. The first step in giving women this feeling is in developing your personal presence.

Want a less new-agey term than presence?

Attention.

What percentage of your attention are you giving the woman you’re speaking to moment to moment? Is the answer anything but 100%? Then you aren’t being fully present with her.

Turn off the TV, put down your cell phone, face her directly, give direct eye contact, and truly hear the words that she is telling you. That kind of laser beam focus of attention makes women weak in the knees.

3. Humour

I once polled a few hundred women to ask them “What is the most important non-physical trait that attracts you to a guy?”

The top answer? A sense of humour.

Life is serious enough as it is. No wonder women value the lightness and playfulness that a partner with a sense of humour brings to their lives.

Besides, if Cyndi Lauper is a credible source (has she lied to you yet?!), girls just wanna have fun.

4. Spontaneity

“I would date fire if I could… it’s consistent in its heat, but it’s always unpredictable and shifting in its momentary form.” – Cathi, 32

Predictability is death to attraction.

If she can predict your every word, move, or sexual escalation to the T, then you might need to inject some spontaneity into your life.

Whether that takes the form of taking her out for a new and unique date, surprising her with her favourite beverage, or bringing her flowers just because, spontaneity brings back some passion and life to your interactions with your partner.

5. Someone Who Is Intentional About Life

Intentionality is the practice of questioning everything in your life and building the kind of life that you want to be living.

It’s easy to be broke. It’s easy to be out of shape. It’s easy to have relationships that go nowhere and leave you both feeling unfulfilled.

What’s comparatively difficult is to be wealthy, in great shape, and have a relationship that others admire. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t doable (in fact, I have over a dozen clients at this current moment who have mastered all three of these areas simultaneously).

Part of intentionality is not just striving towards the things you want to add to your life, but also shining a proverbial flashlight into the darkest corners of your mental attic and asking yourself if you want to keep all of the old junk and baggage that you’ve accumulated.

I have brilliant men in my social circle (some are clients, some aren’t) who, through their lifetime, have seen specific coaches for their physical fitness and their business growth, therapists for their emotional issues, and sex and relationship coaches for their love lives. No stone gets left unturned.

They look at their own baggage with honesty and they have no qualms about breaking their way through their own perceived barriers.

Contrast those men with most guys who tend to float through life and just go with the flow and it’s no wonder that women would be significantly more attracted to an intentional man.

6. Leadership Ability

It’s no secret that women are often attracted to men who display the ability to lead others.

On the primal evolutionary level of attraction everyone is somewhat attracted to those that they perceive to be of higher social value than others. But there’s a huge difference in someone who is a power-hungry jackass as opposed to a person who is a loving and patient inspiration of a man.

Don’t be proud of your ability to throw your weight around at the office. Dominating your employees isn’t attractive. Instead, lead with social intelligence, kindness, and by displaying the kind of values that people want to align with.

The overt musculature of man that held status thousands of years ago in ancient tribes is outdated.  What leads others now is not biceps layered on top of your biceps… it is the power and emotional intelligence that come from the strength of your mind.

7. Vulnerability

All of the power, prestige, leadership ability, and humour that you can muster won’t get you anywhere near a fulfilling relationship if you aren’t willing to let women see you emotionally.

Relationships are catalysts for personal change and growth. But in order to work through your barriers to intimacy, you have to let women in.

I was talking with a client recently who described a perfectly indicative scenario to me that he had experienced on a recent date.

He and his new love interest were walking hand in hand through a park when she asked him “You’re a bit of a softie, aren’t you?”

His initial instinct was to resist what felt like an accusation. His first unfiltered thought was “Pfft… no! I just told you about that triathlon that I completed last month. I think that’s kind of badass, not soft!”

But when he sat with the question for a moment he thought that yes, he in many ways was someone who felt emotions very deeply. He got teary-eyed on a weekly basis when American Idol contestants were voted off the show. He remembered that he was often full of concern if he knew someone was injured or ill.  He got choked up whenever a character in a movie or TV show was dying, especially a child or older person. He thought to himself that yes, he was undoubtedly what many would consider a softie.

So he replied with, “Yeah, I’d say I am. Most of my earliest childhood memories are of me having stronger emotional reactions to things than most of my friends or siblings, so by most people’s standards I’m probably a softie.”

The honesty of this truth hung in the air for a moment and he felt relieved that he had been entirely honest with his date, and he felt a bit exposed as he waited anxiously for her response.

She replied, “Good. I really like that about you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining it.”

How To Attract Women With Character

As with anything to do with humans/sexuality/attraction not all of these points will be valid for 100% of women or all people.

I’ve had quite a few readers and clients recently ask me to divulge more of my personal story into my posts, and this post is where I’m starting.

I truly love the company of women, and have had quite a few wonderful relationships which have usually come pretty easily to me. I’ve had many women tell me that I was so different from all of the other guys that they’d dated.

If I had to boil it down to a few reasons why, those reasons would be the list you’ve just read. The fact that I’m driven, a good listener, playful, and intentional about my life makes me stand out from the competition. I’m comfortable showing emotion, whether it’s passion, joy, empathy, fear or sorrow. And if 9/10 women tell me that I’m “unlike any guy I’ve ever met” then apparently these are the highest leverage ways in which other men can step it up.

So make note of the two or three areas in which you could improve upon the most and commit to taking action on them as soon as possible.

Your future wife (and society at large) is hungry for you to step up into your romantic greatness.

Best of luck.

This Article Originally Appeared in https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2014/04/7-things-women-will-always-be-attracted-to/

The Singles Countdown to Valentine's Day

You try to ignore it but its impossible to escape from The Valentine's Day promotions. 

The gift shops are full of heart shaped cards and teddy bears, the travel agents have romantic weekend trips to Paris advertised, your attached friends topic of conversation is "Will he propose?", and all you can think is 'where are you going to magically find a man in time for Valentines Day'. 

Yes, its the season of romance; the time of year all singletons fear more than walking into a bar with their skirt accidentally tucked into their pants following a visit to the toilet!

If you can identify with these thoughts, don't despair. Whilst it may be difficult for you to get a marriage proposal in such a short space of time, you may be able to get a date in time for Valentines Day. 

Here's a few places for you to try and if you've tried them before try them again; men will be on the lookout at this time of year too so don't be afraid to make yourself available:-

1. Take a good look around at work. OK, so you've worked there for years and none of the single guys have appealed to you before but in desperate times its good to take a second look. Is the guy in accounts really so dull? Maybe he is ultra cool out of work and will have you giggling all night if you give him a chance.

2. Work off those extra pounds piled on at Christmas at the gym and eye up those hunky bodies. Start by taking in the view on the treadmill and then once you've spotted someone you like, ease your way over and ask if he would mind showing you how to use one of the exercise machines in exchange for an after-gym beverage.

3. If you don't have a dog, borrow a friends dog and take it for a long walk. You'll be amazed at the amount of guys walking their dogs who will say hello to a fellow dog walker.

4. Ask your attached friends to help by finding out if any their boyfriends friends have recently become single and get them to arrange a casual get-together to introduce you.

5. Last but not least, join an online dating site and message every half-decent man available. By the time Valentines Day arrives, you'll be inundated with offers and will have to donate the surplus bouquets of red roses to your local hospice because you've run out of vases!

Try one, if not all, of the above, and there's a very good chance you wont be spending Valentines Day alone!

It's Always and Never the Right Time for a Relationship

Being deeply in love is wonderful because it makes you feel as if you have found your purpose in life. 

The problems come about when you start to question that love. “Is she really the right person for me?” “Am I making a terrible mistake?” You start to believe that you’re too young and that you need to grow separately in order to manage to stay together and to love each other. So, you break up. Yet, you don’t completely let go and move on. You wait.

Playing the waiting game is a dangerous business. 

The truth is, you’re not truly waiting; you’re pseudo-moving on with your life. You’re a free agent and you are going to spread your wings — aka legs — every chance you get. You’re going to meet new people, make new friends, try new things, have novel experiences. You’re going to live your life the way you want to live it because you feel as if you just had a weight lifted from your shoulders; you feel light as a feather.

Being single is great — until you start to feel lonely. 

People need other people in their lives; we need to socialize. We benefit from having people to chat with, people that will support us when things get more difficult. Things always get more difficult eventually. Life has just as many downs as it has ups, and when you find yourself at the bottom of a rut, you’re going to wish you had someone you could be intimate with, someone who can share your burden and ease your troubles, someone there to remind you that things aren’t quite so bad. That’s when we’re reminded of that window we left open, just in case we wanted to crawl back in.

Seeing as we never fully let go of our past relationships, we typically still feel a connection. In fact, we have felt a connection the whole time; it’s just that when things were all cheery and exciting, we didn’t think about our ex very much. Now that we yearn for comfort, romantic thoughts flood our minds. Maybe we just call him or her to say hi.

Maybe we wait until we’re drunk to send a text. Maybe you’re on the other end of this scenario entirely and you are the one being approached by your ex. If this is the case, and you decided to wait until your past love turns around, you are going to accept him or her with open arms. But remember, your ex is only contacting you as a result of feeling lonely, not because he or she wants you around in his or her life — at least not all the time, just right now.

What exactly is the sense in waiting for someone? Why not just move on with your life? There’s a rather simple answer to all of this: we are scared. We’re scared of ending up alone, of not finding true love, of being lonely; just as we were scared that we were making a mistake by staying with a person, we are now scared that we may have made a mistake by letting him or her go.

In other words, we are cowards that don’t trust the decisions we make for ourselves. We are scared, so we hold on to past lovers as placeholders, referring back to them only when we start to feel scared of being alone or ending up alone. We figure that getting back with our ex is better than ending up alone… but is it?

You and your ex broke up for a reason. Whether it was your choice or not, there was a reason for it. If the reason was personal, it’s safe to assume that the reason hasn’t changed. Here’s a secret: When something about your boyfriend or girlfriend bothers you enough for you to dump him or her, although the person may have changed his or her habits over time, you’ll always find something else that just doesn’t feel right.

Even if you could maybe possibly force it to work, why would you? There are so many wonderful, beautiful, intelligent people out there who you may fall in love with upon meeting that it’s irrational to hold onto imagined fairytale endings. You just have to go experience the world and meet these people. There isn’t just one person out there for you. You could end up with any one of at least a dozen or so people. 

The person you end up with in the end will be the person you decide is worth giving up your fears for.

Source: always-never-just-right-time-dont-wait-anyone