The Best Feeling!

The best feeling in the world is knowing that 

you actually mean something to someone!

Create more of these amazing experiences ...

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You Take Yourself With You

People who believe they'll be happy if they go and live somewhere else, learn it doesn't work that way. Wherever you go, you take yourself with you.

Time to heal the past hurts!
Find out how! 

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The Darkest Nights

The darkest nights produce the brightest stars.

 

The Serenity Prayer

This prayer has travelled so far with many of us, it is a great reminder that there is great value in handing over and accepting what we can actually do!

The Serenity Prayer

God, grant me the Serenity to accept 

the things I cannot change,

The Courage to change the things I can,

and the Wisdom to know the difference.

Tell Someone You LOVE Them!

Before you go to sleep tonight tell

Someone you Love them!

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That Feeling When Everything Feels Right

One day someone is going to hug you so tight that all of your broken pieces will stick back together ...

And, it will be the best day of your life!

One Day With the Right Person Can Change Everything!

One Day spent with someone you love can change everything

You Can Give In To the Pain In Your Life, or ...

You can give in to the pain in your life ... Or you can be an overcomer and be stronger than you were before.

What a great reflection!

We all experience pain in our lives. It can take so many forms, each of us has a very unique way of experiencing life.

The big question is ...

With the pain make you stronger?

Or, will it overwhelm you?

Listening is a Powerful Quality

The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT

This short quote really struck gold!

How many times have you found yourself talking over someone when they are trying to tell you something.

Some people are really great at STOPPING ... Staying SILENT ...

And then the Magic Happens - once the really LISTEN, they can hear the message that is being shared.

*******

Today was one of those days where there was a lot of blame going on between business partners, but to be honest - neither of them was actually taking the time to Listen!

We ALL need to take a moment and STOP, because it happens in Business, in Family Relationships AND in your most important relationship with your Partner, Spouse or Lover.

We can all look for excuses ... or we can look to have the BEST Relationship!

It is each person's own decision how they are going to approach the problems at hand.

Moving Forward

I don't want you to save me. I want you to stand by me as I save myself.

There's no reason to look back when you have so much to look forward to.

I Love Straight Talking People

I Love straight talking people, there's no trying to guess what they're thinking, no BS.

2 Beautiful Soul and Love Connections

Come and discover two beautiful Quotes on Soul and Love Connections

Actually, your soul and mine are the same. We appear and disappear with each other. - Rumi

I want to Love You ... Every Single Day!

I Wasn't Treating My Husband Fairly, And It Wasn't Fair

In a Relationship Have You Ever Found Yourself Overreacting to Simple Things ... And ... Is it Truly Worth It?

 It's never easy to admit you have a problem, or that you were wrong. A "MissFranJanSan" took to Redditt and wrote out her recent "revelation" in hopes that it might help other marriages. This is what she wrote...

My "Aha Moment" happened because of a package of hamburger meat. I asked my husband to stop by the store to pick up a few things for dinner, and when he got home, he plopped the bag on the counter. I started pulling things out of the bag, and realized he'd gotten the 70/30 hamburger meat - which means it's 70% lean and 30% fat.

I asked, "What's this?"

"Hamburger meat," he replied, slightly confused.

"You didn't get the right kind," I said.

"I didn't?" He replied with his brow furrowed. " Was there some other brand you wanted or something?"

"No. You're missing the point, " I said. "You got the 70/30. I always get at least the 80/20."

He laughed. "Oh. That's all? I thought I'd really messed up or something."

That's how it started. I launched into him. I berated him for not being smarter. Why would he not get the more healthy option? Did he even read the labels? Why can't I trust him? Do I need to spell out every little thing for him in minute detail so he gets it right? Also, and the thing I was probably most offended by, why wasn't he more observant? How could he not have noticed over the years what I always get? Does he not pay attention to anything I do?

As he sat there, bearing the brunt of my righteous indignation and muttering responses like, "I never noticed," "I really don't think it's that big of a deal," and "I'll get it right next time," I saw his face gradually take on an expression that I'd seen on him a lot in recent years. It was a combination of resignation and demoralization. He looked eerily like our son does when he gets chastised. That's when it hit me. "Why am I doing this? I'm not his mom."

I suddenly felt terrible. And embarrassed for myself. He was right. It really wasn't anything to get bent out of shape over. And there I was doing just that. Over a silly package of hamburger meat that he dutifully picked up from the grocery store just like I asked. If I had specific requirements, I should have been clearer. I didn't know how to gracefully extract myself from the conversation without coming across like I have some kind of split personality, so I just mumbled something like, "Yeah. I guess we'll make do with this. I'm going to start dinner."

He seemed relieved it was over and he left the kitchen.

And then I sat there and thought long and hard about what I'd just done. And what I'd been doing to him for years, probably. The "hamburger meat moment," as I've come to call it, certainly wasn't the first time I scolded him for not doing something the way I thought it should be done. He was always putting something away in the wrong place. Or leaving something out. Or neglecting to do something altogether. And I was always right there to point it out to him.

Why do I do that? How does it benefit me to constantly belittle my husband? The man that I've taken as my partner in life. The father of my children. The guy I want to have by my side as I grow old. Why do I do what women are so often accused of, and try to change the way he does every little thing? Do I feel like I'm accomplishing something? Clearly not if I feel I have to keep doing it. Why do I think it's reasonable to expect him to remember everything I want and do it just that way? The instances in which he does something differently, does it mean he's wrong? When did "my way" become "the only way?" When did it become okay to constantly correct him and lecture him and point out every little thing I didn't like as if he were making some kind of mistake?

And how does it benefit him? Does it make him think, "Wow! I'm sure glad she was there to set me straight?" I highly doubt it. He probably feels like I'm harping on him for no reason whatsoever. And it I'm pretty sure it makes him think his best approach in regards to me is to either stop doing things around the house, or avoid me altogether.

Two cases in point. 
#1. I recently found a shard of glass on the kitchen floor. I asked him what happened. He said he broke a glass the night before. When I asked why he didn't tell me, he said, "I just cleaned it up and threw it away because I didn't want you to have a conniption fit over it." 
#2. I was taking out the trash and found a pair of blue tube socks in the bin outside. I asked him what happened and why he'd thrown them away. He said, "They accidentally got in the wash with my jeans. Every time I put in laundry, you feel the need to remind me not to mix colors and whites. I didn't want you to see them and reinforce your obvious belief that I don't know how to wash clothes after 35 years."

So it got to the point where he felt it was a better idea — or just plain easier — to cover things up than admit he made a human error. What kind of environment have I created where he feels he's not allowed to make mistakes?

And let's look at these "offenses": A broken glass. A pair of blue tube socks. Both common mistakes that anyone could have made. But he was right. Regarding the glass, I not only pointed out his clumsiness for breaking it, but also due to the shard I found, his sad attempt at cleaning it up. As for the socks, even though he'd clearly stated it was an accident, I gave him a verbal lesson about making sure he pays more attention when he's sorting clothes. Whenever any issues like this arise, he'll sit there and take it for a little bit, but always responds in the end with something like, "I guess it just doesn't matter that much to me."

I know now that what he means is, "this thing that has you so upset is a small detail, or a matter of opinion, or a preference, and I don't see why you're making it such a big deal." But from my end I came to interpret it over time that he didn't care about my happiness or trying to do things the way I think they should be done. I came to view it like "this guy just doesn't get it." I am clearly the brains of this operation.

I started thinking about what I'd observed with my friends' relationships, and things my girlfriends would complain about regarding their husbands, and I realized that I wasn't alone. Somehow, too many women have fallen into the belief that Wife Always Knows Best. There's even a phrase to reinforce it: "Happy wife, happy life." That doesn't leave a lot of room for his opinions, does it?

It's an easy stereotype to buy into. Look at the media. Movies, TV, advertisements - they're all filled with images of hapless husbands and clever wives. He can't cook. He can't take care of the kids. If you send him out to get three things, he'll come back with two — and they'll both be wrong. We see it again and again.

(On a side note, I have a friend in advertising, and I asked him why so much of that stereotype exists. He basically said, "'Smart wife/dumb husband' is really the only joke that's allowed anymore. Imagine doing a commercial with a clueless or helpless wife who needs a man to come in and save the day. Customers would be up in arms because of the company's antiquated views on women. Plus women make the majority of household purchases in this country, and you want to make them feel smart for choosing your product. So what you always get is the dumb husband character foil.)

What this constant nagging and harping does is send a message to our husbands that says "we don't respect you. We don't think you're smart enough to do things right. We expect you to mess up. And when you do, you'll be called out on it swiftly and without reservation." Given this kind of negative reinforcement over time, he feels like nothing he can do is right (in your eyes). If he's confident with himself and who he is, he'll come to resent you. If he's at all unsure about himself, he'll start to believe you, and it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. Neither one is a desirable, beneficial outcome to you, him or the marriage.

Did my husband do the same to me? Just as I'm sure there are untold numbers of women who don't ever do this kind of thing to their husbands, I'm sure there are men who do it to their wives too. But I don't think of it as a typical male characteristic. As I sat and thought about it, I realized my husband didn't display the same behavior toward me. I even thought about some of the times I really did make mistakes. The time I backed into the gate and scratched the car? He never said a word about it. The time I was making dinner, got distracted by a call from my mom, and burned it to cinders? He just said, "we can just order a pizza." The time I tried to put the new patio furniture together and left his good tools out in the rain? "Accidents happen," was his only response.

I shuddered to think what I would have said had the shoe been on the other foot and he'd made those mistakes.

So is he just a better person than me? Why doesn't he bite my head off when I don't do things the way he likes? I'd be a fool to think it doesn't happen. And yet I don't remember him ever calling me out on it. It doesn't seem he's as intent as changing the way I do things. But why?

Maybe I should take what's he always said at face value. The fact that these little things "really don't matter that much to him" is not a sign that he's lazy, or that he's incapable of learning, or that he just doesn't give a damn about what I want. Maybe to him, the small details are not that important in his mind — and justifiably so. They're not the kinds of things to start fights over. They're not the kinds of things he needs to change about me. It certainly doesn't make him dumb or inept. He's just not as concerned with some of the minutia as I am. And it's why he doesn't freak out when he's on the other side of the fence.

The bottom line in all this is that I chose this man as my partner. He's not my servant. He's not my employee. He's not my child. I didn't think he was stupid when I married him - otherwise I wouldn't have. He doesn't need to be reprimanded by me because I don't like the way he does some things.

When I got to that point mentally, it then made me start thinking about all the good things about him. He's intelligent. He's a good person. He's devoted. He's awesome with the kids. And he does always help around the house. (Just not always to my liking!) Even more, not only does he refrain from giving me grief when I make mistakes or do things differently than him, he's always been very agreeable to my way of doing things. And for the most part, if he notices I prefer to do something a certain way, he tries to remember it in the future. Instead of focusing on those wonderful things, I just harped on the negative. And again, I know I'm not alone in this.

If we keep attempting to make our husbands feel small, or foolish, or inept because they occasionally mess up (and I use that term to also mean "do things differently than us"), then eventually they're going to stop trying to do things. Or worse yet, they'll actually come to believe those labels are true.

In my case it's my husband of 12+ years I'm talking about. The same man who thanklessly changed my car tire in the rain. The guy who taught our kids to ride bikes. The person who stayed with me at the hospital all night when my mom was sick. The man who has always worked hard to make a decent living and support his family.

He knows how to change the oil in the car. He can re-install my computer's operating system. He lifts things for me that are too heavy and opens stuck jar lids. He shovels the sidewalk. He can put up a ceiling fan. He fixes the toilet when it won't stop running. I can't (or don't) do any of those things. And yet I give him grief about a dish out of place. He's a good man who does a lot for me, and doesn't deserve to be harassed over little things that really don't matter in the grand scheme of things.

Since my revelation, I try to catch myself when I start to nag. I'm not always 100% consistent, but I know I've gotten a lot better. And I've seen that one little change make a big improvement in our relationship. Things seem more relaxed. We seem to be getting along better. It think we're both starting to see each other more as trusted partners, not adversarial opponents at odds with each other in our day-to-day existence. I've even come to accept that sometimes his way of doing things may be better!

Don't Take a Chance ... Text The Romance Back
 
No one is always right and no one is always wrong. 
 
And you're not always going to see eye-to-eye on every little thing. 

It doesn't make you smarter, or superior, or more right to point out every little thing he does that's not to your liking. 

Ladies, remember, it's just hamburger meat.

It takes two to make a partnership.

Source Reddit

Beautiful Advice on Loving

The sweetest things you can do for a girl are the little things that let her know she's in your heart & on your mind.

Live simply, dream big, be grateful, give love, laugh lots

Will Smith: “My Marriage Has Died”

How does a couple who is under the constant public eye cope with challenges in their marriage? This is a great article which is really good for reflection on the important aspects of being together ....

 

Will and Jada Smith Reflecting on their Marriage

For the past 18 years, Will & Jada Smith have built a reputation as being one of Hollywood’s most unshakable couples. But Will Smith recently admitted that within their highly talked about marriage, there have been times so rocky that their relationship has pretty much died at points.  

However, instead of calling it quits, these two just find a new way to make things work.

The 46-year old actor, Will Smith, told The Sun newspaper: ”Whatever you have is gonna die and you are gonna have to rebirth something new. You have to be willing to ride the waves. ”There’s gonna be some flat days and some stormy days, and that has to be OK.”
 
The couple have one daughter Willow, 14, and a son Jaden, 16. Jada Smith has previously said Will is more than just a husband to her.
She explained: ”We used to have all these rules, [but] as you go on in your relationship, you just get into a flow. ”Will, to me, encompasses everything. It’s almost as if calling him ‘my husband’ is too small of a word for what he means in my life… I think I had a very stuck idea of what a husband looks like, what a wife should be.
”Once I broke all of that, a whole new world opened for me and man, oh, man, I got to see him in all his glory. And so that’s what it’s evolved into. And I’m just ecstatic about it.”

This isn’t the first time the couple has had to defend their marriage from rumors.  In 2013, Jada responded to rumors about her and Will having an open relationship:
 
“Will and I BOTH can do WHATEVER we want, because we TRUST each other to do so,” she clarified. “This does NOT mean we have an open relationship…this means we have a GROWN one.” 

Source: /will-smith-my-marriage-has-died/

Some Romantic Inspirational Quotes

I've Learned ... that it is not what I have in my life, but who I have in my life that counts

The only word in the job description for life is love. Nothing more. Nothing Less.

Listen to Your Heart

Valentine's Day for the Whole Family!

Valentines Day Doesn’t Have To Be Only For the Adults: Showing Your Love In Fun Ways with the WHOLE family!

To you, Valentines Day may be a day to spend with your significant other or to spend out on the town. But, dont forget about the kids. You should insure that you think about them on this day and find a way to express your love for them too. While they may have a party at school even giving each other fun Valentines cards, they still need to know that you are thinking about them on this day of love.

For many parents, there is a fine line between spoiling and showing that they care. That said, it is still important to demonstrate your love to them and what better way to do this than through Valentines Day? Here are some suggestions for gifts and things that you can do based on the age of your child.

Preschoolers, Up To Age Four

At this age, even this young, they should be able to see the value in giving a gift rather than just receiving one. Allow them to do something for others. For example, make a batch of cookies for the day (or purchase them) and allow them to decorate the plate providing a piece of paper for them to decorate. Make sure to reward them with a plate of cookies for themselves after they have delivered their gifts. Talk about why it is important to show love like this.

Gifts for this age group that you can give them include:

* Stuffed animals, perhaps personalized with their name.

* Books to read and color, perhaps with a theme of loving in them.

* Take them out to lunch at their favorite restaurant.

* Start a tradition such as a visit to the zoo on this day each year.

Young Children, Ages Five Through Seven

Now, they can do much more. Perhaps have a cookie making party and invite their friends and moms to help out. Have them make the cookies, decorate them and then help to pass them out. Perhaps taking them to a childrens hospital or a nursing home to help share the love of Valentines Day is a great solution. Provide them to neighbors, friends or even Grandma.

At this age, kids love to make things. This is the perfect project for them! Have them make cards, filled with great art supplies and stickers. Make sure to provide them with a reward for all of their hard work too.

Gifts here include:

* A stuffed animal, here think about their personal favorites.

* How about a movie?

* If you dont want to take them to see a movie, instead purchase one that they want.

Older Children: Ages Eight And Up
The same activities of making cards and cookies together will still work here. They will likely take more pride in their work and the results will show it. Also, think about incorporating scrap booking into this activity. Kids can make a memory book of all their favorite adventures and memories to share with special people.

Another great suggestion is to remember to send pictures and cards to the troops overseas. Make sure to allow them to send their own messages and perhaps theyll get a pen pal out of it too.

Afterwards, spend some time as a family and do some things you enjoy doing together. 

Spend some time creating the memories that will last long beyond the day!

Valentine's Day for Married Couples

 Who says that married couples can't enjoy Valentines Day? 

If you would like to make this day a little more special than others have been in the past, you'll need to think about a few things, make a few plans and make this day a great day.

Keep It Exciting!

Use all of the tools that you have to remind yourself of the day. Set up a reminder on your computer to remind you of the day. And, not just on that day but several weeks before. This way, you can easily remember to do something for the day.

* Make dinner reservations.

* Buy a new outfit for the day.

* Plan what you will be serving for dinner.

* Find a way to get the kids out of the house for a few hours.

* Head out on the town for several hours.

* Plan out your meal for the night and test new recipes before then.

Managing Kids on Valentine's Day
One of the biggest problems for the evening is with the kids. Where can they go or do? Find a sitter for them so that you two will have time on your own. Make sure to leave them someplace that they will enjoy themselves so that you don't have to worry about them all evening. And, doing this will allow you to spend better quality time with your loved one too.

Gifts should be purchased well in advance. First of all, more and more individuals are turning to the internet to purchase gifts. If this is your plan, do it well in advance of the day, as it may take several weeks to receive a package. If you plan to purchase something, make sure that you know the tastes of the individual and their size. If you visit local department stores, they may even wrap them up for you on this day.

Go For Something Different!

Go ahead and get something more unique this year. For example a singing telegram is sure to surprise her. Surprise her with something like this that you purchase through the local florist.

Making Valentines Day special is important for each of you to really enjoy the day. Do something different, set aside a block of time and make it mean something to each of you. Then, it will be a day to remember even though you are married.

How Do You Know If You Should Get Married?

Although fewer young people are getting married today than ever before, research suggests that getting and staying married is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

As the New York Times recently concluded, “being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single — particularly during the most stressful periods, like midlife crises.”

But how do you know if you should get hitched in the first place?

We asked Peter Pearson, couples therapist and co-founder of the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, California.

Chemistry was his first answer.
“Chemistry is not everything,” he said, “but if the chemistry is not there, that’s a tough thing to overcome. If the chemistry is more there for one person than the other, that’s tough to overcome. It’s hard to build passion if it’s low at the beginning. If I could find a way to build passion where passion was low, I’d be richer than Bill Gates.”

But it’s not just sexual chemistry, Pearson said. What you might call social chemistry plays a crucial role — the way you feel when you’re with the other person. In his experience, when people have affairs, it’s more than simple lust — it’s also about the way they feel when they’re around the other person.

That sense of “how I feel” can be investigated further, care of Canadian psychologist Eric Berne. Back in the 1950s and ’60s, Berne developed transactional analysis, a model that tried to provide an account of how two people in a relationship interact, or transact.

His popular books about the model became bestsellers, namely “The Games People Play.” Drawing somewhat on Sigmund Freud, his theory argued that every person has three “ego states“:
• The parent: what you’ve been taught
• The child: what you have felt
• The adult: what you have learned
When two people are really compatible, they connect along each tier. Pearson gave us a few questions for figuring out compatibility at each level:
• The parent: Do you have similar values and beliefs about the world?
• The child: Do you have fun together? Can you be spontaneous? Do you think your partner’s hot? Do you like to travel together?
• The adult: Does each person think the other is bright? Are you good at solving problems together?
While having symmetry across all three would be amazing, Pearson said that people often “get together to balance each other.” One person might identify as fun-loving and adventurous, while the other takes on the role of nurturing and responsible. 

While that divvying up of roles is the stuff of odd-couple romantic comedies, it’s not sustainable.

“That works until someone gets tired,” Pearson said, until one partner is shouting, “I’m tired of being the responsible person here!“

When that happens (or ideally, before that happens), a couple has to go through the “differentiation” process. 

In another interview, Pearson’s wife and Couples Institute co-founder Ellyn Bader described how the high-tension phase of differentiation works:

• People have to come to terms with the reality that “we really are different people. You are different from who I thought you were or wanted you to be. We have different ideas, different feelings, different interests…
• Differentiation has two components. There is self-differentiation: “This is who I am and what I want.” This refers to the development of an independent sense of self: to know what I want, think, feel, desire…
• The second involves differentiation from the other. When this is successful, the members of the couple have the capacity to be separate from each other and involved at the same time.

For couples to survive that differentiation process and maintain their compatibility, the real secret sauce is effort.

But with all this theoretical stuff, Pearson said the clues about what predicts true compatibility are much more of a felt sense than something you reason out.

He provided a litmus test. ”If you’re living together and your partner is away for a couple days and you see a favorite scarf, a pair of shoes, or another article of clothing that’s important to them, how do you feel?” Pearson asked. “Do you feel annoyed that you have to pick up the clutter, or does it bring up happy memories?”

The answer can tell you a lot about how your parent, child, and adult are getting along with theirs.

Source: successful-marriage-compatabilities

Something Incredible

Watch Incredible Below!

What happens when you hear something that lifts your heart ... and your soul ... and reminds you to believe in ... Something Incredible?

The words, the visuals remind us that love is amazing, incredible ... we are ALL Incredible!!