It Isn't Over Until It's Over - Believe in Love

Please Watch The Video Below - ENJOY!

YouTube Video: "Rejoice"

A magical movie which says  

“It ain’t over til it’s over. You can start again. 

You can love again.”

Believe in Love!

What would happen if we all took the time to revisit the moments that were magical and reconnected?

Your thoughts? 

The (Relationship) Killer That We Often Ignore

Today’s topic is going to be a touchy one, one that most people like to argue over.

But it definitely tops our list as a major relationship killer.

There’s no shame admitting it, we’ve all been there, and we’ve all done that.

Neediness is an epidemic

 
It robs us of our peace and is fueled by our insecurities.

It makes us feel as though we have no control over our lives, and we’re constantly at the mercy of others. If you’re struggling with neediness don’t feel bad. You’re not alone….

The Truth About Neediness

Neediness is not restricted to a particular set of actions, neediness is a mindset.

It stems from fear; fear that you’re not good enough so you constantly look for outside things to validate your worthiness.

Unfortunately neediness creates a void within you that cannot be filled by outside validation, so you enter every relationship hoping to take anything and everything you can from the relationship to make yourself feel better.

Before long, unable to meet your demands your partner withdraws and the relationship suffocates, withers and dies, leaving you to believe the fears you had from the start were true, and the vicious cycle continues. 

Insecurities and fears are a natural part of being human.

However when you allow these fears to control you, it escalates in to a much bigger problem. We look at the world through coloured lenses and the world we see is a reflection of our beliefs, and what we believe to be true is true for us (We cover this extensively inside the Passion Program).

So we constantly behave in ways that attract people and situations that reinforce our beliefs. For e.g. someone operating under the assumption that they are not lovable will have a much tougher time being in an emotionally healthy relationship as oppose to someone who believes they are worthy of being loved.

What constitutes as being needy?

A lot of people attribute neediness to some extreme behavior like stalking, or clinging.

What most people are not aware of is that neediness can take on much subtle forms.

Remember neediness is a mindset, and when you’re in that mindset, you operate primarily out of fear–Fear of loss.

When you’re in the scarcity mindset, you see no opportunities, you only see limitations.

Neediness is when you need something/someone to be or act a certain way, because of how emotionally attached you are to an outcome you think is best for you.

What is Wrong With This Mindset?

When you fight against the what is, you’re essentially telling the universe that you have no faith that things will work out for you. You’re betting against yourself, and you’ve already started off with a negative assumption. Now you’re constantly on edge looking for clues that your relationship is not in trouble.

What does this actually look like?

• You’re on your best behavior to make sure that person doesn’t leave you.
• You do things for them in hopes of getting them to love you back.
• You’re overly accommodating of their bad behavior to avoid rocking the boat (Oh! He’s just stressed…He’s busy...)
• Or when your partner acts a little distant, you assume the worst and fall in to depths of despair.

You do everything in your power to make that person love you, because you know if he just gave you a chance you would have the most perfect relationship or you cling on to her because you think you will never find someone better…..

Any of these sound familiar?

How Do You Combat Neediness?

By realizing that you don’t need perfect circumstances in life to feel good about yourself…

Although it may be wonderful if things worked out between you and your partner, it wouldn’t be the end of the world if they left.

Fear is purely psychological, it’s not real. 

It just makes you think it’s real by showing you what you want to see, or rather what you don’t want to see.

No one has the power to make you feel powerless, only you hold that power.

To quell your inner demons, you need to take the reins and be firm in the direction you want to go.

Ultimately your focus should be on becoming a better person for yourself. People will come in to your life one day and they will leave the next. You have no control over it, life is unpredictable like that, but the only person that’s going to be a constant in your life is you.

When we make ourselves someone we can be happy with, it becomes easier for someone else to be happy with us. This is not to say you have to suppress negative emotions and fake a smile to keep someone happy, FYI that’s still neediness.

If you put in the right kind of effort, you will inevitably move on to form healthy, strong relationships in the future with someone who is capable of giving you what you want.

Either way you get to decide if it is the right relationship for you because you’re no longer stuck in the same place out of fear.

Having absolute faith that things will work out as it should, goes a long way.

If not, you will drive yourself crazy constantly worrying about all the ‘what ifs’.

None of us have the luxury of knowing what the future holds, but by learning to be okay with uncertainty we create healthy emotional boundaries so we can be okay with any outcome.

I firmly believe everything happens for a reason and it happens for the best. After struggling with neediness most of my adult life, I have to come to see that, worrying creates nothing but misery. It often times goes as far as to create what it is that I don’t want to happen.

Life is not perfect and it will never be. I’m not perfect and you’re not perfect…and we will never be perfect… and that is okay.

Before finding someone else to love and accept you, learn to give yourself what you need. It is only then that you will be able to receive love from another person without making demands on them to be or act a certain way. If not you’re always going to be looking for something that’s never going to make you whole.

Source: http://lovingboldly.com/blog/the-relationship-killer-that-silently-lurks-in-your-life/#more-3711

Find Out the Habits of Women In Happy Relationships

Do you have a friend who brags about her love life?

That friend who you can’t help but roll your eyes at whenever she tells you what her seemingly perfect guy did (like when he got off work early to spend more time with her.)

You can’t help but feel a little bit annoyed at what’s going well in her relationship when yours isn’t measuring up, right?

But you know what? 

Love isn’t just a roll of the dice. There are actually a few simple habits you can cultivate to turn your love life from disappointing to mind-blowing.

Here are 7 things that women do to stay happy in their relationship:

1. They Get High Together

There are really 2 different kinds of moods—high and low.

High moods are those feelings that are good (like laughing all night or cuddling on Sunday morning).

Low moods on the other hand are things that feel bad (like stupid arguments about chores or smashing your head against a brick wall).

Women in great relationships focus on the high moods. They pay more attention to their partner’s positive qualities rather than his faults.

When you focus more on what you don’t like, you will create more feelings of negativity and a low mood that fuels disconnect.

2. Is This The Hill You Want to Die On?

Successful relationships are about teamwork. Remember that the two of you should work together rather than play the role of opponents.

When you start to feel your blood boil, ask yourself if this is really the hill you’d like your relationship to die on.

3. Put Away the Death Ray

No one is perfect, and I’m sure your guy is no different.

However, before you vent your anger or frustration when he makes a mistake, remember that he is a human being, who goes through the same emotional dilemmas you do.

He may not do everything you want him to, or he might do it his own way, but that doesn’t mean that he doesn’t care or that you aren’t a priority to him.

Take a moment and put away the “death ray,” and try to see life through his eyes before you “let him have it.”

4. Open the Kimono

It may feel scary to show your partner parts of yourself that you feel uneasy about, it can actually bring the two of you closer together.

Sharing a darker side of yourself with others can be difficult. When you can show your partner that side (your fears, pain, old trauma, etc.) he’ll feel more comfortable opening up to you.

You don’t have to face the hard times alone, open the kimono and bare it all.

5. Rise to the Challenge

Relationships are an amazing test for our personal development.

Nowhere else in life do you need to develop qualities like trust, loyalty, commitment, empathy, and forgiveness.

Relationships find ways of challenging us to open our selves up to greater vulnerability.

If you want to break a cycle of bad relationships or salvage a troubled relationship, then it may be time to look within and rise to the challenge that is being presented.

Don’t expect your relationship to keep growing unless you keep growing as well.

6. It’s Not Always About You

It’s easy to get upset when he forgets to call you, doesn’t text you back right away, or would rather spend the afternoon hanging out with his buds.

After all, aren’t you good enough for him to treat you right?

Chances are, whatever he’s doing isn’t really about you.

It’s not that he doesn’t love you, and it’s not that you’re not enough of a woman to deserve love.

Chances are his behavior says more about what he’s going through than it does about you.

7. Forget the Chocolate

I know you want the romance, the passion, the grand romantic gestures. Who doesn’t?

I mean, what else will get your heart all twitterpated like the ending of a good romance movie.

But you know what?

Relationships don’t happen on the romantic dates with the flowers and the chocolates. Relationships live and die by the small moment-by-moment choices we make or refuse to make on a daily basis.

And the ultimate question is: are you going to be the type of woman who will embrace these 7 habits to have the happy relationship you want in your heart?

You Turn: Why do you think some woman can be in great relationships while others struggle?

Source  http://digitalromanceinc.com/dating/7-habits-of-women-in-happy-relationships/

About Mika Maddela

In addition to helping people find the love of their dreams, Mika Maddela is an avid unicorn wrangler and cookie aficionado.

Together, with her husband Clay, Mika helps women find, attract, and keep a great relationship with high quality men at Loving Boldly.

Listening Can Be Romantic

Imagine … having someone’s attention on you … 100%.

Does this sound like something strange or unusual?

Since the advent of television, the radio, the internet and most recently social media, there has been so much “noise” and things happening around us that people have forgotten the ‘art of listening’.

Stopping …

Taking a moment and actually listening to the other person can be magical.

The other person actually gets to be heard, felt and responded to in a heart-felt way. You also find out what is going on for them in their world.

Being disciplined enough to listen, to not talk and focus on what is being said can be a challenge. Or, because the conversation has triggered off a thought or something important to you … you may want to actually have an opportunity to talk. Remember, your mind can be like a puppy, bouncing around wanting to get attention.

A major rule is that if you have made the commitment to listen … then you need to follow through and actually pull your mind back in line … and re-commit to the conversation.

Some people find listening really challenging, a way to work around this is to do a few activities, or training games to get your mind to focus on what you want! You can do this by listening to a radio or a television or recorded speech. You let the speech run for a fixed time, say five minutes to start with. If your mind loses track of what the speaker is saying, then restart the speech. Do it with different speeches till you can listen without a break for five minutes. Next, increase this time to ten minutes, and repeat the exercise.

You will find that you can concentrate better, and comprehend what the speaker is saying. You now need to repeat the exercise using a video, where the speaker waves his hands or stops for effect or rattles off sentences.

You will find that very often these minor things send your mind on its own trip. You need to stop the mind from doing so.

You are now ready to listen to people in real life. Your mind will stay focused, and you will find that you are a better listener now.

Being a better listener can mean that you can be Romantic in the most important ways, you will know what your partner, lover or love interest really likes, wants to do with you and more especially enjoys.

You will always be able to “surprise” them because you have found out what is important to them.

Source: http://iloveromanticlove.com/listening-can-be-romantic/

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The Dinner Date

Take some time and spend it with those you love, they may be family, friends or special people in your life!

The best thing to remember it to make the effort, we are only promised today!

Fifteen Signs to Know If The Two of You Are Meant to be Together

How do you know if he's the one? Here are fifteen signs. 

Even when you're crazy in love with someone, it can often be hard to know if he or she is "right" for you. How do you know you won't feel differently in a year? Ten years? A lifetime? Deciding if you can commit to someone is a deeply personal determination, and everyone has different criteria. As in any verdict, you have to start by assessing the evidence. With that in mind, YourTango has come up with 15 signs that you're dating a soul mate. You don't have to check off all of these points to be sure about someone—but if you can say yes to several, you've found someone very special. 

1. You tell him things you don't tell anyone else. We don't mean blurting something out after you've had too much merlot, but the desire to tell him intimate details about your life means you trust him—a major component of successful long-term love.

2. You let her see you in moments of weakness. It's easy to be happy with someone when you're feeling good about life. But what about when you're not doing so well? Do you want to see her when you've been denied a raise, or your cat died or you had a plain old bad day? She should be a comfort during tough times, not a burden. 

3. You respect him. You don't want to change the essence of who he is. There may be stuff that irritates you in everyday life—he insists on wearing his favorite, holey T-shirt, he eats sugar cereal for dinner, he still watches Saturday morning cartoons—but you like him, plain and simple. 

4. You want him to meet your parents. You feel proud of him and you want to show him off—as opposed to feeling like you have to make excuses for him.

5. You can imagine a future together. You don't have to practice writing your first name with his last name, but do you periodically let your mind wander to picture a life together? Is it amazing?

6. You're not afraid to disagree with him. You know that even if you fight, he'll listen to you and won't brush you off. He takes you seriously, even when he thinks you're wrong. 

7. You want to work out your major differences. If you do have crucial differences that will impact your future together—different opinions about religion, money or something else—you want to work them out with him, and you believe you can come to a conclusion that will satisfy both of you.

8. You laugh together. Laughter is one of life's simplest pleasures—you should definitely be able to crack each other up.

9. You're incredibly, utterly, surprisingly attracted to her. Physical chemistry is an undeniably important ingredient in a healthy relationship. And if she's not a classic beauty or your usual "type"? Even more reason to think she's the one.

10. It's OK to be quiet around her. You don't feel like you have to fill the space between you with chatter or other interaction. Instead, you feel an easy comfort.

11. You feel like yourself around him. You don't feel like you have to edit your thoughts; you're not self-conscious or anxious.

12. You need him the right amount. You long for him—but not too much. Some neediness is good but too much breeds discontent.

13. You don't feel too jealous. You're comfortable with him going out with his friends—even female friends. You let each other have your own lives and hobbies. 

14. You feel like she makes you a better person. She makes you feel smart, funny, attractive, creative—like the best version of yourself. You feel like she brings out and complements the best parts of you.

15. She just gets you. Sometimes it's that easy. You feel like she understands some essential part of you that you can't explain or articulate. It's a warm, comfortable feeling—and one you should have with the person you marry.

Source: http://www.yourtango.com/200943556/15-signs-youre-meant-be#.VHUQs75Vz5k

The New Rules of Dating

The "New Rules" of Dating

If you're in the dating game you need to know that the goalposts have moved. The good news is that it's to your advantage...if you know how to play by the new rules 

In sex, just like sports, it pays to play by the rules. But sometimes the rules just aren’t working. In football, o„fficials moved the restraining line from the 30-yard line to the 35, with the intention of increasing touchbacks. And in basketball, o„fficials dumped the no-dunk rule after fans complained that it made play less exciting. Well, now it’s time to dump some obsolete dating rules, too...if you want to win. Play by these new rules and you’ll score again and again.

OLD: Checking women out.
NEW: Women checking men out.
● Think your zipper’s undone? It’s not. Women are just busy ogling what’s on offer. “Most women would probably say they don’t stare at men’s bodies in the same way men do women, but they’re mistaken,” says sex therapist Ian Kerner, author of

Just don’t make the false assumption that you have a get-out-of-jail-free card to start doing the same. “Women like to be admired, not ogled,” says Pam Spurr, author of Steamy Sex: The Sex Doctor’s Guide To Keeping It Hot. “So take in her breasts or legs, but don’t dwell on them.” And make the most of your assets, too. “Wear well-fitting shirts, and don’t be shy about using your jeans to show off whatever nature gave you.”

OLD: Online dating.
NEW: Mobile dating.
● Online dating made it easy to cast a wide dating net. Trouble is, you’d end up hooking a lot of fish you had no appetite for. Mobile dating apps allow you to see who’s online and in the vicinity, improving your chances of landing a really good catch. It also means every night is “date night.” So the way it used to work—with time to plan what you’d wear, where you’d take her, and so on—has changed. 

Be ever ready. Keep a change of clothes at work, along with some deodorizing wipes and mouthwash, because who knows what’s in store. “Sometimes women, like men, drop their standards so they can get what they want sooner,” Kerner says. “So if a gorgeous woman is on the hunt for a date and you can respond quickly, you might strike it lucky with a woman who’s actually way out of your league.”

OLD: Talking Dirty.
NEW: Sexting.
● Talking dirty had one major advantage over sexting—you got to see her response. “Whisper in a woman’s ear that you’d love to see her naked and she’ll probably either sti‹ffen and move away slightly, or giggle and blush,” Kerner says. “The way she responds physically provides a wealth of clues. But with texting, you’ve got only her words to go on.” And even then she has more time to consider her response, giving her more control over the situation. That’s why you have to take extra care with the timing and content of your texts. And that includes—ahem—“self-portraits.”

Take the initiative but then let the lady lead the way. “Send a subtle but suggestive text to start with,” Kerner says. “And then let her set the filth level. Never go beyond the level she’s at; otherwise you risk turning her o‹ff.”

CLICK HERE to Find Out More!

OLD: Dating One Woman At a Time.
NEW: Multi-Dating.
● Back in the day, there was only one type of steak on every menu: beef. Now you can try venison steak, tuna steak, even tofu steak... And it’s the same with dates. Online and mobile dating have expanded the menu. Now you can see as many women as you can fit into your schedule. Sounds great, doesn’t it? But read the small print: The same rules apply to women. She may be multi-dating you. 

Stay on track. “If you want to avoid getting a bad reputation, stick to one date a night, don’t contact other women while on a date, and make sure you make a note of who’s who so you don’t use the wrong name,” Kerner says. “And don’t flip out if you discover she’s been multi-dating you, too."

Article by Siski Green

Source:  http://www.mensfitness.com/women/dating-advice/the-new-rules-of-dating