7 Relationship Needs All Women Have

Men and women are at an emotional stalemate.

We feel something’s lacking in our relationships. The majority of men aren’t able to penetrate their women fully, nor are women fully opening to their men.

Women aren’t opening because men aren’t giving them what they need. Women feel disappointed and resentful; they are suffering. When women suffer, and they feel like they aren’t being seen, they close off to their men.

Fortunately, you can learn the right tools to be able to more fully penetrate your woman. You can give your partner what she needs, allowing her to feel seen so that she will open again.

Take the time to read through these needs. Let them sink in. Understanding what you can do to help your partner fully open will not only improve your relationship, but it will improve your entire life.

Here are the seven things that all women want in a relationship.

1. To Feel Loved

When women feel loved, they relax and open to us. The arguments dissipate, the sex is abundant, and their nurturing feminine energy flows throughout our lives.

Not feeling loved is the subtext of every argument that you and your partner have.

If she is unhappy that you are going out with your friends, or she’s upset about her day at work, or she is only responding to you with brief snippets of sentences, then the cause is most likely her not feeling loved enough.

Learn to see through her words, actions, and moods and see what the real root of it is.

2. To Feel Safe

There is a war being waged on women’s self-esteem, sexuality, and safety from a very young age.

Because of the barrage of dis empowering messages being sent to women regarding their sexuality, women need to have a safe space where they feel that they can trust their partners.

She wants to trust your strength. She wants to feel like you can handle whatever she shows you.

She wants to feel like you will not judge her if she asks for something risqué. She wants to know you won’t collapse in defeat if she tells you to do it “This way” instead.

By creating a safe space for your woman to open up to you emotionally and sexually, you will be giving her a very powerful gift- you allow her to grow within your relationship and undo old emotional damage.

3. To Feel Seen

Women want to feel seen.

She wants to feel you hearing her, and being aware of her emotional state.

She doesn’t necessarily want you to be affected by her emotional state, but she does want you to be witness to it.

If she is sitting across the room from you and you aren’t picking up on the fact that she is suffering emotionally and on the verge of tears, she will begin to trust you less. She will think, “If he can’t see that I am hurting now, how long will it take him to figure it out? Will I be suffering for days or weeks before he is aware of it or cares enough to help me through this? I guess I have to rely on myself for my own emotional support.”

Life can seem extremely lonely, even within a relationship. You have to constantly show your partner that at least one person will be witness to her and her journey through life. (Hint: that person is you.)

4. To Be Allowed To Be Nurturing

Just as masculine energy has the need to protect, feminine energy has the desire to nurture.

Women want to see the cracks in our armor. They want to see that we trust them enough to open up to them. They want to be able to help us through our sadness.

An integrated, evolved man who has a balanced masculine energy as well as his own sliver of feminine would welcome his woman’s nurturing.

If you are a guy reading this, have you ever held open a door for a woman because it’s the polite thing to do (but more just because she’s a person and it wasn’t even a gender-based act) and she chews your ear off for it? “Oh what? I can’t open the door for myself because I’m a woman?! You sexist pig!”

That is an example of a wounded, unbalanced woman who doesn’t want to accept help from a masculine source. This is exactly how it feels to your partner when you push her away when you feel the most vulnerable. “I don’t need to lay my head down on your chest and tell you about my feelings because I don’t have any!” That is a lie. It’s a lie that serves your purpose of not letting your partner in. This lack of vulnerability and authenticity is what is making you and your partner suffer.

So let her in. She wants to love you.

5. To Feel Sexually Desired

What’s a major difference between your relationship to your partner and your relationship to everyone else in your life? You have sex with your partner.

Women need to feel sexually desired. They want to make sure that you see and appreciate them as a feminine, sexual being.

Praise her body. Feel her and grab her appreciatively. Remind her that you see her as a sexual being and you will both benefit.

6. To Be Appreciated

The feminine in all people responds primarily to praise and appreciation.

Remind your partner that you love her. Tell her that you appreciate what she brings to your life. Show her how much she means to you.

The fastest way to run your relationship into the ground is by ignoring your partner and taking her for granted. Appreciation is the opposite of those things. Appreciation is the embodying this mindset: “I am aware of what you bring to my life, and I want you to be sure that I am aware of it as well.”

So tell her what you appreciate, and tell her often.

7. To Feel Like She Can Count On You

Life gets pretty messy sometimes.

When life’s unavoidable difficulties arise, do you fall apart under pressure or are you able to bend and not break?

Women want to know that we can handle ourselves when life happens. They want to know that we won’t run and hide when they get a bit ‘too emotional’ for our liking. They want to know that they can count on us.

When you tell your partner you’ll do something, and then you don’t do it, it hurts her. She loses a piece of trust in you that has to be earned back. Even seemingly small things break that trust like you saying that you will wash the dishes shortly after dinner, but washing them the next morning instead.

When enough small transgressions like this are sprinkled throughout your relationship, she will distrust you.

Do what you say you will do, be who you say you are, and be consistent in your actions.

What Do Women Want In A Relationship?

Women want partners that care.

Women don’t want perfect partners; they want men who are striving to be their best selves.

She doesn’t necessarily want someone who has every step of his life pre-planned, but she wants someone with drive and with goals.

She doesn’t necessarily want someone who cries every day, but she does want someone who has the courage to cry in front of her when he needs to.

She doesn’t necessarily want someone who stays in therapy for his entire life, but she does want someone who has the courage to face his own emotional demons.

So put in the work. End the stalemate. Decide that you want to be in the kind of relationship that most people don’t have and you want to put in the effort necessary to become that kind of man.

The women of the world are waiting for us. And they want us to step up just as badly as we want them to open up.

Dedicated to your success

Source: 7-things-women-need-in-a-relationship/
Article Written by Jordan Gray, Relationship Coach

For the Women ... Find out if the "Love Lie" is keeping you Single?

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Become Who You Are ... Inspiration

In order to love who you are, 
you cannot hate the experiences that shaped you

Whatever's good for your soul ... do that

When I let go of what I am, 
I become what I might be.

Letting go of the past ...
And Creating an amazing Now...
Is what it is all about!!



Create More of what YOU want! 

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Where Do Valentines Day Traditions Come From?

For hundreds of years Valentines Day has been celebrated by lovers everywhere. 

Where did this traditions start anyway, and why to we exchange Valentines Day flowers and candies with each other? 

Well, I have done some searching and I have come across some interesting stories that go along with this tradition. Some of these stories may be true and others may be just what they're supposed to be... stories. 

Here is a short version of what may have really been the beginning of sending Valentines Day flowers on Valentines Day.

Why was St. Valentine so important?
About 800 years before Valentines Day was established, A man named Claudius was in power in Rome . He felt that marriage was a bad thing because it made poor soldiers out of men. So, he banned marriage from his empire. St. Valentine did not agree with this rule, so he would secretly marry couples that came to him. St. Valentine was caught and soon after he was stoned and then beheaded.

Valentine Traditions

In Wales, wooden love spoons were carved and given as gifts on February 14th. Hearts, keys and keyholes were favorite decorations on the spoons. The decoration meant, “You unlock my heart!”
In the Middle Ages, young men and women drew names from a bowl to see who their valentines would be. They would wear these names on their sleeves for one week. To wear your heart on your sleeve now means that it is easy for other people to know how you are feeling.

In some countries, a young woman may receive a gift of clothing from a young man. If she keeps the gift, it means she will marry him.

Some people used to believe that if a woman saw a robin flying overhead on Valentine’s Day, it meant she would marry a sailor. If she saw a sparrow, she would marry a poor man and be very happy. If she saw a goldfinch, she would marry a millionaire.

No matter what is true and what is myth, Valentines Day has become big business for the flower, card, and candy companies. Many exist only because of this one day a year. 

Today's Traditions

If you are a man ... and have a wife or girlfriend, and you let Valentines Day go by without getting her flowers or candy, you may find yourself in big trouble. So take my advice, put some effort into your gift too. 

There is nothing worse than seeing everyone at work receiving candy, flowers or gifts sent through to them ... and not receiving anything. Even a gift voucher for a special pampering session in a card can make someone smile!

A carefully chosen Valentine's Day card or gift will take you a long way; some women love flowers, others would be happy with a plant that they can put in the garden to enjoy year after year. 

Think about the gift ... what could you give the person you love which could make them feel special? It is not always about the money spent, but the thought about how special and nurtured they feel.

A hint ... if you feel the flowers are too expensive over Valentine's Day, spend it on something different, a treat and send some flowers over when they are a little more reasonable. The fun part of this is that you will make everyone wonder at your lover's workplace what you are celebrating!

If you’re lucky enough to have someone who loves you on Valentine's Day, then you should show him or her how much they mean to you.

Romantic Thoughts to Fill Your Day

Happiness begins with the decision to no longer feel sad

You light up my life with love

Happiness is an inside job. Don't assign anyone that much power over your life!

Don't look for someone who will solve all your problems. Look for someone who won't let you face them all alone

The Top 3 Things Most Women Want For Valentines Day

Valentine’s Day is around the corner. So what do you get her this year?  

Maybe you’re tired of doing the same old “red roses and a box of chocolates” thing and you want to make this year a Valentine’s Day she’ll remember ... without spending a fortune.

Here are the top three things every woman wants for Valentine’s Day.  

You may be surprised!

1.  A Show of Effort 

Women want to know that their man has put some thought and energy into making their Valentine’s Day special.  They want to see that there was time spent in preparation for the evening.  It’s not about how much money you spend.  In fact, it’s better to have spent more time than money on Valentine’s Day.

Plan an evening that requires a little forethought, and preparation.  Women know if you just stopped at the local convenience store to pick up some roses on your way over.  Give her a night dedicated to her wants and desires – not just something thrown together at the last moment.

2.  Proof You Listen to Her and Know What She Likes 

As a man, one of your most important jobs in your relationship is to listen to your woman.  Women drop clues on a constant basis in everyday talk.  For example, if the two of you are out shopping, she might see a bunch of tulips, and say “I just love tulips!  Pink tulips are my favorite flower.”  One of the best things you can do is hear that information, remember it, and use it at a later time.

Then on Valentine’s Day buy her pink tulips instead of the standard red roses. Chances are she will be so impressed that you even knew she likes pink tulips, because she forgot she said it, or even that you remembered all this time, and that you went to the trouble to surprise her with her favorites.

This can apply to anything including a certain food she loves but never indulges in, a hotel or retreat she’d like to take with you, a piece of jewelry she adores but would never spend the money on herself, or maybe something off beat like she’s always wanted to learn ballroom dancing – Sign the two of you up for lessons.  There are many ways to make Valentine’s Day memorable if you just listen.

3.  Pamper Her - All women love to be pampered.  

Some may not be used to it, or not even know what they like, but I promise you all women will love it.  A gift certificate to the spa is not the same.  Here’s why – When you pamper a woman you are taking care of her, you are making her feel good, and by you doing the pampering you are showing your love.  

So how should you pamper her?  Every woman likes different things more than others, so don’t be afraid to ask her ahead of time.  Here are some suggestions to get you started:

You could make a bubble bath for two complete with candles and champagne.  If she’s not a bath girl, you might consider buying a small bottle of massage oil, have her get into her bath robe and give her a back massage.  If she’s a woman that spends her days on her feet, you may want to give her a pedicure.

Remember that however you pamper her it should be done for her enjoyment alone.  It should not be used solely as a way to get her warmed up for sex.  If she leads it that way, then all the better, but go into it with the intention of just making her feel good.  Women can sense when they are being primed for sex, and when it is a genuine act of kindness.

Surprise her with her favorite things instead of the typical Valentines roses, chocolates, and teddy bears. And, spend time and effort to make this Valentine’s Day a night she will remember and brag to her friends about.

The key is to listen to her, find out what she really likes, and plan an evening that caters to her. 

Some Romantic Inspirational Quotes

I've Learned ... that it is not what I have in my life, but who I have in my life that counts

The only word in the job description for life is love. Nothing more. Nothing Less.

Listen to Your Heart

Valentine's Day for the Whole Family!

Valentines Day Doesn’t Have To Be Only For the Adults: Showing Your Love In Fun Ways with the WHOLE family!

To you, Valentines Day may be a day to spend with your significant other or to spend out on the town. But, dont forget about the kids. You should insure that you think about them on this day and find a way to express your love for them too. While they may have a party at school even giving each other fun Valentines cards, they still need to know that you are thinking about them on this day of love.

For many parents, there is a fine line between spoiling and showing that they care. That said, it is still important to demonstrate your love to them and what better way to do this than through Valentines Day? Here are some suggestions for gifts and things that you can do based on the age of your child.

Preschoolers, Up To Age Four

At this age, even this young, they should be able to see the value in giving a gift rather than just receiving one. Allow them to do something for others. For example, make a batch of cookies for the day (or purchase them) and allow them to decorate the plate providing a piece of paper for them to decorate. Make sure to reward them with a plate of cookies for themselves after they have delivered their gifts. Talk about why it is important to show love like this.

Gifts for this age group that you can give them include:

* Stuffed animals, perhaps personalized with their name.

* Books to read and color, perhaps with a theme of loving in them.

* Take them out to lunch at their favorite restaurant.

* Start a tradition such as a visit to the zoo on this day each year.

Young Children, Ages Five Through Seven

Now, they can do much more. Perhaps have a cookie making party and invite their friends and moms to help out. Have them make the cookies, decorate them and then help to pass them out. Perhaps taking them to a childrens hospital or a nursing home to help share the love of Valentines Day is a great solution. Provide them to neighbors, friends or even Grandma.

At this age, kids love to make things. This is the perfect project for them! Have them make cards, filled with great art supplies and stickers. Make sure to provide them with a reward for all of their hard work too.

Gifts here include:

* A stuffed animal, here think about their personal favorites.

* How about a movie?

* If you dont want to take them to see a movie, instead purchase one that they want.

Older Children: Ages Eight And Up
The same activities of making cards and cookies together will still work here. They will likely take more pride in their work and the results will show it. Also, think about incorporating scrap booking into this activity. Kids can make a memory book of all their favorite adventures and memories to share with special people.

Another great suggestion is to remember to send pictures and cards to the troops overseas. Make sure to allow them to send their own messages and perhaps theyll get a pen pal out of it too.

Afterwards, spend some time as a family and do some things you enjoy doing together. 

Spend some time creating the memories that will last long beyond the day!

Valentine's Day for Married Couples

 Who says that married couples can't enjoy Valentines Day? 

If you would like to make this day a little more special than others have been in the past, you'll need to think about a few things, make a few plans and make this day a great day.

Keep It Exciting!

Use all of the tools that you have to remind yourself of the day. Set up a reminder on your computer to remind you of the day. And, not just on that day but several weeks before. This way, you can easily remember to do something for the day.

* Make dinner reservations.

* Buy a new outfit for the day.

* Plan what you will be serving for dinner.

* Find a way to get the kids out of the house for a few hours.

* Head out on the town for several hours.

* Plan out your meal for the night and test new recipes before then.

Managing Kids on Valentine's Day
One of the biggest problems for the evening is with the kids. Where can they go or do? Find a sitter for them so that you two will have time on your own. Make sure to leave them someplace that they will enjoy themselves so that you don't have to worry about them all evening. And, doing this will allow you to spend better quality time with your loved one too.

Gifts should be purchased well in advance. First of all, more and more individuals are turning to the internet to purchase gifts. If this is your plan, do it well in advance of the day, as it may take several weeks to receive a package. If you plan to purchase something, make sure that you know the tastes of the individual and their size. If you visit local department stores, they may even wrap them up for you on this day.

Go For Something Different!

Go ahead and get something more unique this year. For example a singing telegram is sure to surprise her. Surprise her with something like this that you purchase through the local florist.

Making Valentines Day special is important for each of you to really enjoy the day. Do something different, set aside a block of time and make it mean something to each of you. Then, it will be a day to remember even though you are married.

How Do You Know If You Should Get Married?

Although fewer young people are getting married today than ever before, research suggests that getting and staying married is one of the best things you can do for yourself.

As the New York Times recently concluded, “being married makes people happier and more satisfied with their lives than those who remain single — particularly during the most stressful periods, like midlife crises.”

But how do you know if you should get hitched in the first place?

We asked Peter Pearson, couples therapist and co-founder of the Couples Institute of Menlo Park, California.

Chemistry was his first answer.
“Chemistry is not everything,” he said, “but if the chemistry is not there, that’s a tough thing to overcome. If the chemistry is more there for one person than the other, that’s tough to overcome. It’s hard to build passion if it’s low at the beginning. If I could find a way to build passion where passion was low, I’d be richer than Bill Gates.”

But it’s not just sexual chemistry, Pearson said. What you might call social chemistry plays a crucial role — the way you feel when you’re with the other person. In his experience, when people have affairs, it’s more than simple lust — it’s also about the way they feel when they’re around the other person.

That sense of “how I feel” can be investigated further, care of Canadian psychologist Eric Berne. Back in the 1950s and ’60s, Berne developed transactional analysis, a model that tried to provide an account of how two people in a relationship interact, or transact.

His popular books about the model became bestsellers, namely “The Games People Play.” Drawing somewhat on Sigmund Freud, his theory argued that every person has three “ego states“:
• The parent: what you’ve been taught
• The child: what you have felt
• The adult: what you have learned
When two people are really compatible, they connect along each tier. Pearson gave us a few questions for figuring out compatibility at each level:
• The parent: Do you have similar values and beliefs about the world?
• The child: Do you have fun together? Can you be spontaneous? Do you think your partner’s hot? Do you like to travel together?
• The adult: Does each person think the other is bright? Are you good at solving problems together?
While having symmetry across all three would be amazing, Pearson said that people often “get together to balance each other.” One person might identify as fun-loving and adventurous, while the other takes on the role of nurturing and responsible. 

While that divvying up of roles is the stuff of odd-couple romantic comedies, it’s not sustainable.

“That works until someone gets tired,” Pearson said, until one partner is shouting, “I’m tired of being the responsible person here!“

When that happens (or ideally, before that happens), a couple has to go through the “differentiation” process. 

In another interview, Pearson’s wife and Couples Institute co-founder Ellyn Bader described how the high-tension phase of differentiation works:

• People have to come to terms with the reality that “we really are different people. You are different from who I thought you were or wanted you to be. We have different ideas, different feelings, different interests…
• Differentiation has two components. There is self-differentiation: “This is who I am and what I want.” This refers to the development of an independent sense of self: to know what I want, think, feel, desire…
• The second involves differentiation from the other. When this is successful, the members of the couple have the capacity to be separate from each other and involved at the same time.

For couples to survive that differentiation process and maintain their compatibility, the real secret sauce is effort.

But with all this theoretical stuff, Pearson said the clues about what predicts true compatibility are much more of a felt sense than something you reason out.

He provided a litmus test. ”If you’re living together and your partner is away for a couple days and you see a favorite scarf, a pair of shoes, or another article of clothing that’s important to them, how do you feel?” Pearson asked. “Do you feel annoyed that you have to pick up the clutter, or does it bring up happy memories?”

The answer can tell you a lot about how your parent, child, and adult are getting along with theirs.

Source: successful-marriage-compatabilities

Only Time

Beautifully Sung, 'Only Time' Click Below to Watch

The Talented Elena House sings 'Only Time' from Enya, so beautifully sung with such touching emotion.

The 7 things Women Will Always Be Attracted To In a Man

Men have been raised with the false belief that they should always appear detached, cool and unemotional, 24/7, or risk being known in guy world as “weak”.

Men’s relationship coach, Jordan Grey has discovered that "Guys’ beliefs about what actually attracts women is pretty ass-backwards."

He goes on to share "I’ve encountered countless driven entrepreneurs who work tirelessly for years to amass their fortune only to find that the wall of cash that they’ve built around themselves is only making it more difficult for them to find a woman who values them for their character.

"I’ve had potential clients be “on the fence” about whether to spend some of their cherished time and money doing their internal work, but they don’t hesitate to buy a flashy watch or car (presumably for the same end goal of trying to attract a high quality women into their lives… *face palm*)."

So if cash-flow, fancy accessories, and an unexpressive face don’t attract high quality, loving women (which they really don’t) then what character traits are women attracted to?

Here are seven of the most important things that women will always be attracted to.

Be conscious of a few of these in your daily life and you’ll save yourself time, money, frustration, and headaches in trying to deeply engage your dream woman on an emotional level.
7 Things That Women Will Always Be Attracted To 

1. Drive

“I’m really attracted to a guy who knows what he wants in life and is going after it. I absolutely adore being around that kind of energy.” – Jessica, 27

Women are attracted to men that have goals and are actively pursuing them.

Masculine energy is directional energy. Like a boulder rolling down a hill, the single-focus energy that penetrates through resistance in pursuit of achieving an end result is very attractive to women.

But drive isn’t always enough on its own. Ideally you’ll be driven in something that you’re passionate about.

High quality women are infinitely more attracted to a man who is dripping with passion about his work as an artist (despite making under $30,000/year) compared to a man who reluctantly went into law to please his parents and is so unenthusiastic about his work that he uses self-deprecating and dismissive language every time you try and talk to him about it.

As much as most men resist this idea, when it comes to attracting a high value woman of character, drive beats dollars every time.

2. Presence

Every person wants to feel deeply seen and understood by someone in their lives… but few people want to take the time to explain or reveal themselves.

When it comes to deeply connecting with a woman on an emotional level, your presence will always mean more than any presents ever could.

By being fully present with women (through eye contact, listening, and prioritizing distraction-free conversations) you give them the sense of feeling seen.

Everyone (male or female) wants to feel deeply seen and appreciated. The first step in giving women this feeling is in developing your personal presence.

Want a less new-agey term than presence?

Attention.

What percentage of your attention are you giving the woman you’re speaking to moment to moment? Is the answer anything but 100%? Then you aren’t being fully present with her.

Turn off the TV, put down your cell phone, face her directly, give direct eye contact, and truly hear the words that she is telling you. That kind of laser beam focus of attention makes women weak in the knees.

3. Humour

I once polled a few hundred women to ask them “What is the most important non-physical trait that attracts you to a guy?”

The top answer? A sense of humour.

Life is serious enough as it is. No wonder women value the lightness and playfulness that a partner with a sense of humour brings to their lives.

Besides, if Cyndi Lauper is a credible source (has she lied to you yet?!), girls just wanna have fun.

4. Spontaneity

“I would date fire if I could… it’s consistent in its heat, but it’s always unpredictable and shifting in its momentary form.” – Cathi, 32

Predictability is death to attraction.

If she can predict your every word, move, or sexual escalation to the T, then you might need to inject some spontaneity into your life.

Whether that takes the form of taking her out for a new and unique date, surprising her with her favourite beverage, or bringing her flowers just because, spontaneity brings back some passion and life to your interactions with your partner.

5. Someone Who Is Intentional About Life

Intentionality is the practice of questioning everything in your life and building the kind of life that you want to be living.

It’s easy to be broke. It’s easy to be out of shape. It’s easy to have relationships that go nowhere and leave you both feeling unfulfilled.

What’s comparatively difficult is to be wealthy, in great shape, and have a relationship that others admire. But it doesn’t mean that it isn’t doable (in fact, I have over a dozen clients at this current moment who have mastered all three of these areas simultaneously).

Part of intentionality is not just striving towards the things you want to add to your life, but also shining a proverbial flashlight into the darkest corners of your mental attic and asking yourself if you want to keep all of the old junk and baggage that you’ve accumulated.

I have brilliant men in my social circle (some are clients, some aren’t) who, through their lifetime, have seen specific coaches for their physical fitness and their business growth, therapists for their emotional issues, and sex and relationship coaches for their love lives. No stone gets left unturned.

They look at their own baggage with honesty and they have no qualms about breaking their way through their own perceived barriers.

Contrast those men with most guys who tend to float through life and just go with the flow and it’s no wonder that women would be significantly more attracted to an intentional man.

6. Leadership Ability

It’s no secret that women are often attracted to men who display the ability to lead others.

On the primal evolutionary level of attraction everyone is somewhat attracted to those that they perceive to be of higher social value than others. But there’s a huge difference in someone who is a power-hungry jackass as opposed to a person who is a loving and patient inspiration of a man.

Don’t be proud of your ability to throw your weight around at the office. Dominating your employees isn’t attractive. Instead, lead with social intelligence, kindness, and by displaying the kind of values that people want to align with.

The overt musculature of man that held status thousands of years ago in ancient tribes is outdated.  What leads others now is not biceps layered on top of your biceps… it is the power and emotional intelligence that come from the strength of your mind.

7. Vulnerability

All of the power, prestige, leadership ability, and humour that you can muster won’t get you anywhere near a fulfilling relationship if you aren’t willing to let women see you emotionally.

Relationships are catalysts for personal change and growth. But in order to work through your barriers to intimacy, you have to let women in.

I was talking with a client recently who described a perfectly indicative scenario to me that he had experienced on a recent date.

He and his new love interest were walking hand in hand through a park when she asked him “You’re a bit of a softie, aren’t you?”

His initial instinct was to resist what felt like an accusation. His first unfiltered thought was “Pfft… no! I just told you about that triathlon that I completed last month. I think that’s kind of badass, not soft!”

But when he sat with the question for a moment he thought that yes, he in many ways was someone who felt emotions very deeply. He got teary-eyed on a weekly basis when American Idol contestants were voted off the show. He remembered that he was often full of concern if he knew someone was injured or ill.  He got choked up whenever a character in a movie or TV show was dying, especially a child or older person. He thought to himself that yes, he was undoubtedly what many would consider a softie.

So he replied with, “Yeah, I’d say I am. Most of my earliest childhood memories are of me having stronger emotional reactions to things than most of my friends or siblings, so by most people’s standards I’m probably a softie.”

The honesty of this truth hung in the air for a moment and he felt relieved that he had been entirely honest with his date, and he felt a bit exposed as he waited anxiously for her response.

She replied, “Good. I really like that about you. I just wanted to make sure I wasn’t imagining it.”

How To Attract Women With Character

As with anything to do with humans/sexuality/attraction not all of these points will be valid for 100% of women or all people.

I’ve had quite a few readers and clients recently ask me to divulge more of my personal story into my posts, and this post is where I’m starting.

I truly love the company of women, and have had quite a few wonderful relationships which have usually come pretty easily to me. I’ve had many women tell me that I was so different from all of the other guys that they’d dated.

If I had to boil it down to a few reasons why, those reasons would be the list you’ve just read. The fact that I’m driven, a good listener, playful, and intentional about my life makes me stand out from the competition. I’m comfortable showing emotion, whether it’s passion, joy, empathy, fear or sorrow. And if 9/10 women tell me that I’m “unlike any guy I’ve ever met” then apparently these are the highest leverage ways in which other men can step it up.

So make note of the two or three areas in which you could improve upon the most and commit to taking action on them as soon as possible.

Your future wife (and society at large) is hungry for you to step up into your romantic greatness.

Best of luck.

This Article Originally Appeared in https://www.jordangrayconsulting.com/2014/04/7-things-women-will-always-be-attracted-to/

The Singles Countdown to Valentine's Day

You try to ignore it but its impossible to escape from The Valentine's Day promotions. 

The gift shops are full of heart shaped cards and teddy bears, the travel agents have romantic weekend trips to Paris advertised, your attached friends topic of conversation is "Will he propose?", and all you can think is 'where are you going to magically find a man in time for Valentines Day'. 

Yes, its the season of romance; the time of year all singletons fear more than walking into a bar with their skirt accidentally tucked into their pants following a visit to the toilet!

If you can identify with these thoughts, don't despair. Whilst it may be difficult for you to get a marriage proposal in such a short space of time, you may be able to get a date in time for Valentines Day. 

Here's a few places for you to try and if you've tried them before try them again; men will be on the lookout at this time of year too so don't be afraid to make yourself available:-

1. Take a good look around at work. OK, so you've worked there for years and none of the single guys have appealed to you before but in desperate times its good to take a second look. Is the guy in accounts really so dull? Maybe he is ultra cool out of work and will have you giggling all night if you give him a chance.

2. Work off those extra pounds piled on at Christmas at the gym and eye up those hunky bodies. Start by taking in the view on the treadmill and then once you've spotted someone you like, ease your way over and ask if he would mind showing you how to use one of the exercise machines in exchange for an after-gym beverage.

3. If you don't have a dog, borrow a friends dog and take it for a long walk. You'll be amazed at the amount of guys walking their dogs who will say hello to a fellow dog walker.

4. Ask your attached friends to help by finding out if any their boyfriends friends have recently become single and get them to arrange a casual get-together to introduce you.

5. Last but not least, join an online dating site and message every half-decent man available. By the time Valentines Day arrives, you'll be inundated with offers and will have to donate the surplus bouquets of red roses to your local hospice because you've run out of vases!

Try one, if not all, of the above, and there's a very good chance you wont be spending Valentines Day alone!

The Power of Love

To Watch the Video 'Power of Love' Click Below

How does the Power of Love Show up in your life? 

It's Always and Never the Right Time for a Relationship

Being deeply in love is wonderful because it makes you feel as if you have found your purpose in life. 

The problems come about when you start to question that love. “Is she really the right person for me?” “Am I making a terrible mistake?” You start to believe that you’re too young and that you need to grow separately in order to manage to stay together and to love each other. So, you break up. Yet, you don’t completely let go and move on. You wait.

Playing the waiting game is a dangerous business. 

The truth is, you’re not truly waiting; you’re pseudo-moving on with your life. You’re a free agent and you are going to spread your wings — aka legs — every chance you get. You’re going to meet new people, make new friends, try new things, have novel experiences. You’re going to live your life the way you want to live it because you feel as if you just had a weight lifted from your shoulders; you feel light as a feather.

Being single is great — until you start to feel lonely. 

People need other people in their lives; we need to socialize. We benefit from having people to chat with, people that will support us when things get more difficult. Things always get more difficult eventually. Life has just as many downs as it has ups, and when you find yourself at the bottom of a rut, you’re going to wish you had someone you could be intimate with, someone who can share your burden and ease your troubles, someone there to remind you that things aren’t quite so bad. That’s when we’re reminded of that window we left open, just in case we wanted to crawl back in.

Seeing as we never fully let go of our past relationships, we typically still feel a connection. In fact, we have felt a connection the whole time; it’s just that when things were all cheery and exciting, we didn’t think about our ex very much. Now that we yearn for comfort, romantic thoughts flood our minds. Maybe we just call him or her to say hi.

Maybe we wait until we’re drunk to send a text. Maybe you’re on the other end of this scenario entirely and you are the one being approached by your ex. If this is the case, and you decided to wait until your past love turns around, you are going to accept him or her with open arms. But remember, your ex is only contacting you as a result of feeling lonely, not because he or she wants you around in his or her life — at least not all the time, just right now.

What exactly is the sense in waiting for someone? Why not just move on with your life? There’s a rather simple answer to all of this: we are scared. We’re scared of ending up alone, of not finding true love, of being lonely; just as we were scared that we were making a mistake by staying with a person, we are now scared that we may have made a mistake by letting him or her go.

In other words, we are cowards that don’t trust the decisions we make for ourselves. We are scared, so we hold on to past lovers as placeholders, referring back to them only when we start to feel scared of being alone or ending up alone. We figure that getting back with our ex is better than ending up alone… but is it?

You and your ex broke up for a reason. Whether it was your choice or not, there was a reason for it. If the reason was personal, it’s safe to assume that the reason hasn’t changed. Here’s a secret: When something about your boyfriend or girlfriend bothers you enough for you to dump him or her, although the person may have changed his or her habits over time, you’ll always find something else that just doesn’t feel right.

Even if you could maybe possibly force it to work, why would you? There are so many wonderful, beautiful, intelligent people out there who you may fall in love with upon meeting that it’s irrational to hold onto imagined fairytale endings. You just have to go experience the world and meet these people. There isn’t just one person out there for you. You could end up with any one of at least a dozen or so people. 

The person you end up with in the end will be the person you decide is worth giving up your fears for.

Source: always-never-just-right-time-dont-wait-anyone

You Raise Me Up

'You Raise Me Up' Sung Beautifully, click below to watch

'You Raise Me Up' - sung beautifully by a 

very lovely 16 year old soprano, Elena House.

The Worst Text Messages Sent To A Date

They Sent What??! Try To Avoid These Texting Faux Pas

A great article, to share with the 'I Love Romantic Love' Community!

We've all received them, or perhaps even unintentionally sent them. So how do you know when it's just plain weird, off, or wrong? Take a peek at these - some of the worst of the worst - and you'll hopefully remember them the next time you pick up your phone to send your date a note.

1.  Can't Take the Hint Texts
 
For whatever reason, you're smitten with Mister or Miss Right, and you want to win over their affections... yet they're refusing to reply to you. That they're at work, with their family, or out on the town with friends doesn't cross your mind. 

I'll just leave it to a reader to share his thought process when this happened to him: 

"I couldn't take a hint. She wasn't interested. BUT WHAT IF SHE WASN'T OKAY?! Oh my goodness, I have to know she's okay. So I texted her, and texted her, and texted her... until she told me if I texted her again, she'd call the cops. I stopped".

2.  Over the Top Sexual Texts
 
Maybe you think you've sent a flirty text message as opposed to one that might seem a bit, um, uncouth. 

To help, I have a marker for whether a text measures on the okay scale, or whether it should be left for another day. If the person you're sending the message to has yet to see you as naked as the day you were born, refrain from sending anything that might make your own Mom say, "Ew". 

I've had readers send me the most vulgar, offensive texts completely wrong for an all-ages audience, so let me just share one of my favorites/worst: "I look forward to the day your belly swells, ripe with my seed". Yep, sent after date numero uno.

3.  Ridiculously Judgmental Texts
 
I've learned over the decade that I've written about dating and relationships to share what I do for a living right off the bat. Then, the person can decide if it's a deal breaker for them (surprisingly, it is for a lot of people). 

Once however, I had a gent text me after I shared the news: "I know you're type. You change your shoes as much as you change you're guy". He then got even more judgmental, so I blocked him... For the grammar infractions, of course.

4.  No Texts At All
 
The flip side of the "Can't Take the Hint" no-no, the AWOL texter just disappears, oftentimes just as you're trying to make plans. 

Of course, there are times when it's really unavoidable (as discussed already), yet there's a certain subset of the population who just.. disappear. 

Shared a female reader: "We had a fantastic date, we made out a bit, he asked if he could see me later in the week. I texted him a few days later to see if we were still on. Nothing. I asked again the next day. Still nothing. I never heard from him again". 

5.  Oops! Texts
 
A lot of horrible texts can fall in this category. Call someone the wrong name, send the wrong text to the wrong person, auto correct goes wild and makes a huge, icky mess. 

A favorite/bad text I read on Reddit a few months back read: "Total waste of time, fugly and epically boring." followed by "Sorry, wrong person." 

A gal pal had a similar experience on Tindr, where she met a gent in person, he ignored her, and then "accidentally" asked her how she was doing a week or so later. As soon as she responded, he blocked her. 

So ... what do you do now?

Texting in Relationships can be fun, and definitely bring back the Romance!! 

Follow this link http://bit.ly/1ChNLAd to find out more about how you can text back the Romance into your Relationship  

You will enjoy the information that Michael Fiore shares about how YOU can shift from reading a funny article about texts to dates ... or be having more Romantic Fun!!

Source:  The-Worst-Text-Messages-to-Send-Your-Date

What Questions Would You Ask To Increase Intimacy? Part III

Getting to know someone at a more intimate level expands us ... Time to take it to the next Step!!

In the previous 2 blogs, Part I and Part II, we went through two series of questions to start Increasing our Intimacy with our partner or lover. You have started to get to know them better, asked some questions that may have even made them ... and you think a bit!

It is now time to look at Part III's set of questions ... to make it easier, .

Each series of questions allows you to increase your knowledge and intimacy with the other person.

Enjoy!!

We would love to hear how you go with each stage.


Part III

25. Make three true “we” statements each. For instance, “We are both in this room feeling _______.”

26. Complete this sentence: “I wish I had someone with whom I could share _______.”

27. If you were going to become a close friend with your partner, please share what would be important for him or her to know.

28. Tell your partner what you like about them; be very honest this time, saying things that you might not say to someone you’ve just met.

29. Share with your partner an embarrassing moment in your life.

30. When did you last cry in front of another person? By yourself?

31. Tell your partner something that you like about them already.

32. What, if anything, is too serious to be joked about?

33. If you were to die this evening with no opportunity to communicate with anyone, what would you most regret not having told someone? Why haven’t you told them yet?

34. Your house, containing everything you own, catches fire. After saving your loved ones and pets, you have time to safely make a final dash to save any one item. What would it be? Why?

35. Of all the people in your family, whose death would you find most disturbing? Why?

36. Share a personal problem and ask your partner’s advice on how he or she might handle it. Also, ask your partner to reflect back to you how you seem to be feeling about the problem you have chosen.

Try them out, and let us know what happens.

What Questions Would You Ask To Increase Intimacy? Part II

You have broken the Intimacy "ice" and started get to know each other better ... time to go deeper!

In the previous blog, Part I, we went through a series of questions to start Increasing our Intimacy with our partner or lover. You have started to get to know them better, asked some questions that may have even made them ... and you think a bit!


It is now time to look at Part II's set of questions ... to make it easier, .

Each series of questions allows you to increase your knowledge and intimacy with the other person.

Enjoy!!

We would love to hear how you go with each stage.

Part II

13. If a crystal ball could tell you the truth about yourself, your life, the future or anything else, what would you want to know?

14. Is there something that you’ve dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it?

15. What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?

16. What do you value most in a friendship?

17. What is your most treasured memory?

18. What is your most terrible memory?

19. If you knew that in one year you would die suddenly, would you change anything about the way you are now living? Why?

20. What does friendship mean to you?

21. What roles do love and affection play in your life?

22. Alternate sharing something you consider a positive characteristic of your partner. Share a total of five items.

23. How close and warm is your family? Do you feel your childhood was happier than most other people’s?

24. How do you feel about your relationship with your mother?


Try them out, and let us know what happens.

What Questions Would You Ask To Increase Intimacy? Part I

Every wondered what questions you could ask when you are wanting to get to know someone better?

Even when we are in a relationship, there are times when you would like to increase intimacy with your partner or lover. When a relationship is happening inside of a busy life, we may not ask the "fun" and "intimate" questions that allow us to really connect with the other person at a deeper level.

There are three sets of questions ... to make it easier, we have broken them down into Three Parts. 

Each series of questions allows you to increase your knowledge and intimacy with the other person.

Enjoy!!

We would love to hear how you go with each stage.

Part I

1. Given the choice of anyone in the world, whom would you want as a dinner guest?

2. Would you like to be famous? In what way?

3. Before making a telephone call, do you ever rehearse what you are going to say? Why?

4. What would constitute a “perfect” day for you?

5. When did you last sing to yourself? To someone else?

6. If you were able to live to the age of 90 and retain either the mind or body of a 30-year-old for the last 60 years of your life, which would you want

7. Do you have a secret hunch about how you will die?

8. Name three things you and your partner appear to have in common.

9. For what in your life do you feel most grateful?

10. If you could change anything about the way you were raised, what would it be?

11. Take four minutes and tell your partner your life story in as much detail as possible.

12. If you could wake up tomorrow having gained any one quality or ability, what would it be?

Try them out, and let us know what happens.